In some of the posts, I saw that therapy was working for you (I am refering to those 'anger' threads). So, what changed? Also, I gather that some of your siblings were lucky to escape all this. Do they support you now? I have seen that friends are good, but healing family wounds and having that support is also helpful.
Hi Deccani,
it does look like you've been in similar circumstances but maybe not the same as myself. Also my guess is that a male child would deal with it differently to a female in most cases, however, I cannot generalise.
Therapy has been and is working for me, however, it can sometimes be an extremely powerful and tiring process while you are undergoing therapy. With abuse and traumas, it can take years depending on how long you've suppressed all the emotions. As i suppressed everything for more than 35 years, well your guess is as good as mine as to how long it may take to heal and recover.
It is a roller coaster ride meaning you could be up and down on a daily basis, the pain of facing yourself and your traumas and dilemas can sometimes be overwhelming to the extent that you may have thoughts of not wanting to live anymore etc. But my one of my only hopes in life has been and is professional therapy. Some power from up above miraculously placed a wonderful therapist on my journey of life and I am so grateful to them for what they have done for me so far.
Therapy has GIVEN ME SOME HOPE AND CONFIDENCE IN LIFE, A NEW BEGINNING, A FRESH OUTLOOK ON LIFE
It made me realise how withdrawn and unhappy I had become in my life
It made me realise that my there was hardly any life and sparkle left in me
It made me realise that I was being controlled by other people all these years
It made me realise how limited I am in many aspects
It taught me how to say no to people
It made me get more in touch with my being and my feelings
This therapy inspires you to constantly stay with your feelings in the now.
It has helped me to work through some of my traumas so that i can accept forgive and move on (I still have a fair few to work through)
It has helped me to uncondition some of the very deepseated BK dogma and restricted and disciplined lifestyle
My list could go on and on but i think you get the gist of it.
Some of my siblings have been supportive, however, they do not really know or understand the depth of my traumas. I have said that I am going through depression, however, I do not feel that anyone really understands how to deal with a person who is suffering from depression unless they have experienced it themselves. Also, I think that the siblings have their own problems and issues they are dealing with and so, they don't really have time for me. There has been death of family members as well as family crisis on top of everything else I am dealing with and so it has been extremely overwhelming and painful.
But I have the hope that one day I will get there as difficult it may be right now. I am just hanging in there with the grace of god and with the blessing of some people on this forum as well as off forum.
I hope this helps someone in some way ...
Kind regards
Enlightened