- Posts: 6
- Joined: 26 Jun 2018
Here’s the thing Sanju, You have to be clear about what you really want in life.
Some people think money will enable happiness.
Others think being ”spiritual” will enable happiness.
Some so-called ”spiritual” people will try to convince you that being unhappy will lead to happiness.
There is no defined ‘spirituality” .
Life is spiritual.
As the poet William Blake wrote ”Everything that lives is Holy” .
What is the relationship of celibacy to life? Is celibacy life- affirming or life-denying?
Is celibacy about saving your love for a rainy day?
OK , your wife has had two children and has no sexual desire. That is not unusual. It can take years for hormones to rebalance or for psychological readiness to feel sexually aroused again.
Maybe the BKs offer her a way to rationalise her abstinence or lack of libido, to be supported in that and feel abstinence is ”better than normal”. This pits you against the BKs who will use every trick they know (many) to pull her closer to them, along with any assets she has access to - car, money, time, etc.
How is she otherwise? Is she, or has she been, a little withdrawn and depressed? Post-natal depression can even hit a woman years after giving birth. Is she burdened with housework and responsibilties/ Do you do equal share? Research has shown that many women find men doing housework entusiastically an aphrodisiac. I am not making that up.
As ex-l said - spirituality is not owned by any one group, no group or religion is ”highest”.
In fact, such a claim proves they are not!
Take his advice and find a substitution for BKs that will fulfil yours and your wife’s needs for spiritual community, one (or more) that marriage and life generally instead of disavowing it , tolerating it and discouraging it.
Beware of any group that has an ”inside versus outside" view of themselves and the world.