- Posts: 88
- Joined: 23 Jan 2013
The dawning of the truth
Oh boy, this is harder than I thought. Well, let me try.
By the way, I am not a native speaker. So If you might notice some inconveniences in my writing, you know why.
I believe there is a saying that, "time is scarse", so I will start with the most important. I have read some articles here but I do not know whether this subject is covered there. I think is is important enough to be told.
I joined the BK in 1990, in Autumn. By then I had failed to finish my studies, for which I had worked very hard. Because I had put so much energy in it, I felt as if my inner batteries were empty. I felt the need to recharge myself but did not know how.
A few months later I visited a New Age gathering where several New Age groups presented themselves. As I was walking around I heard two guys speaking about how the soul lost energy and that you could recharge yourself by connecting to the Supreme Soul. That having heard, I decided to do the introduction course.
Altogether, I have been roughly 1.5 years with the BK movement and attended only 50 sessions. Besides, that I meditated at home. I never took the morning classes.
As I was with the BKs, I always felt the need to implement The Knowledge they gave on the physical level. With that I mean that I wanted to give service to other people. At that time, I knew some addicted people that lived nearby. There was the head of the section in my country and she gave courses to these people. I was enthousiastic and asked if I could do the same. One of the BKs suggested that this lady could come along and give class, so that we could talk.
That day came. I was in high heavens to meet her. Before we started meditating a BK teacher came in. I looked at her and felt frightened. There was something about her. It was as if she was carrying something heavy and she moved in a strange way, but I could not see it. The idea of a chainsaw came into my thoughts. I don't know why. The BK that gave the special courses was sitting in front of the group of people attending the class. The other BK teacher landed exactly behind me. I felt unease and shifted a little. She followed me. I shifted again, she shadowed me. I gave up moving, thinking I was with Baba and safe.
The meditation started. The BK in front of me looked up and went into meditation. Then closed her eyes and waited for some time. It was as if her spirit left her and something else came in. Then she opened her eyes and looked around, looked at me.
By then, I was in meditation as well and as she looked at me I thought, "I am equal to you. You don't stand above me". She turned her head away in disgust, I guess as the vibrations came to her. Then it seemed as if something demonic took possesion of her. It was as if it had waited to meet me. She then connected with the other BK behind me, by eyesight.
Then it was as if a connecting wire was flung into the current and as if I vaguely heard the sound of a machine buzzing. I tried to stop it in thought, but couldn't. The next moment I noticed that my back was cut open and it hurt, but not in a physical way. A few seconds later it felt as if a knife or some other sharp object was cast into my back by the BK sitting behind me, with great force and anger.
I went home very upset and did not visit the BK centre for an few months. At home, I thought about the dreadful experience. I had read about non-BK mediums, healers that had spiritual helpers and did spiritual surgery on people to help them overcome diseases but this was nothing like that I said to myself. Then I thought about some kind of a punishment. Maybe because I was too bold. But it seemed more like a lynching. I did not know what to do with the experience and put it away.
In April 1992, I left the BK and never came back to them and stopped meditating. In 1994/1995, I had been abroad for a few months. When I came back, I felt at unease and tried hard to go back to the life I led before, to resume my life after the BK.
Via a family member I came in contact with a woman. She said she could help me. I just told her I had been abroad and had difficulty taking up my old life again. I just told her about my stay abroad.
Then she said she would help me and told me about the worse things that happened during my time at the BK. When she started, she told me she was getting an headache. It worsened and worsened at the point she almost had to vomit. I asked what was happening and she told me that all the bad things done to me went away via her.
She stopped, waited a few moments and than started again. The headaches came back to a point the she almost fainted. Then it got better. She told me she could see what happened. I had suffered from intense oxygen depletion, due to suffocation. She told me about people dressed in white that stood by my side and strangled me with silk bands. She also told me about the time my back was cut open and that there was a sharp object left there. She helped me in healing that wound.
Later when we talked, I asked how it was possible that I did not notice most of the things that happened to me. The woman told me it was because I was unconsious, deep asleep. When I was meditating I surrendered completely. I was defenseless and they could do with me whatever they wanted. I was completely in their power.
I told her though, that I had witnessed the lynching when the BKs cut my back. She told me that one time, at the end of meditation, I had fainted and did not respond to their calling. The BK had come to me and wokened me up and offered me some water. I was sitting in lotus position. It had happened just as she told.
During the time the woman gave me the healing, she reported that she was attacked and pushed aside. She told me it was by them who had done harm to me.
Later on, I told her that sometimes I had nightmares in which I dreamt that I was chocked. It started when I left the cult and has lasted for years. The woman told me these nightmares were the body remembering abuse recorded at an unconsious level.
After this meeting, I talked with her over the phone a few times. The woman explained to me that my vocal chords were injured and that I needed to heal them by singing special tones. I did not know how to do this and tried, but gave up. At the time, when I was with the BKs, I noticed once though, after a meditation, that when I tried to talk, my voice shifted to scratching, squeaking shortly. Since that time, I sometimes had little control over my voice for a few moments, especially when I was nervous. Years later, I had to consult a logopedist because I had small noodles on my vocal chords. I healed myself with speaking and tone-exercises.
I asked the woman why the BKs did the things they did and she told me that they had exerted extreme mesures to break my spirit and make a zombie of me. The reason they did this was because they wanted to possess the power I had with me, but it was in vain, because it was innate and could not be taken away. I had had my doubts after I left the cult and never exactly knew what had been going on there. To me, this explanation of hers was like the dawning of the truth.
She also told me it was useless asking why. They did this abuse with everyone.
This is roughly the story I Iived through it. I don't mind what other people think about it. These are my experiences. I am not going to bargain or negotiate over it. Take it or leave it as it is.
For me, having experienced this, I find it hard to believe that the suppreme being, or Baba, or BapDada or God, or Shiva or whatever the name given is, is so benevolent. I got no protection whatsoever from this soul. If it is all-knowing, all-seeing etc. it knew what was going on and did nothing to stop them. The BK that abused me were trained by it, energized by it and probably got The Knowledge to do this from it. Does this make it a suppreme being?
And do you know what the "suppreme soul" said to the BK that lynched me behind my back, a few months later when they were in Madhuban and were able to draw his attention amongst the crowd? "You are very good and clever in fastly giving the correct answers".
Oh boy, this is harder than I thought. Well, let me try.
By the way, I am not a native speaker. So If you might notice some inconveniences in my writing, you know why.
I believe there is a saying that, "time is scarse", so I will start with the most important. I have read some articles here but I do not know whether this subject is covered there. I think is is important enough to be told.
I joined the BK in 1990, in Autumn. By then I had failed to finish my studies, for which I had worked very hard. Because I had put so much energy in it, I felt as if my inner batteries were empty. I felt the need to recharge myself but did not know how.
A few months later I visited a New Age gathering where several New Age groups presented themselves. As I was walking around I heard two guys speaking about how the soul lost energy and that you could recharge yourself by connecting to the Supreme Soul. That having heard, I decided to do the introduction course.
Altogether, I have been roughly 1.5 years with the BK movement and attended only 50 sessions. Besides, that I meditated at home. I never took the morning classes.
As I was with the BKs, I always felt the need to implement The Knowledge they gave on the physical level. With that I mean that I wanted to give service to other people. At that time, I knew some addicted people that lived nearby. There was the head of the section in my country and she gave courses to these people. I was enthousiastic and asked if I could do the same. One of the BKs suggested that this lady could come along and give class, so that we could talk.
That day came. I was in high heavens to meet her. Before we started meditating a BK teacher came in. I looked at her and felt frightened. There was something about her. It was as if she was carrying something heavy and she moved in a strange way, but I could not see it. The idea of a chainsaw came into my thoughts. I don't know why. The BK that gave the special courses was sitting in front of the group of people attending the class. The other BK teacher landed exactly behind me. I felt unease and shifted a little. She followed me. I shifted again, she shadowed me. I gave up moving, thinking I was with Baba and safe.
The meditation started. The BK in front of me looked up and went into meditation. Then closed her eyes and waited for some time. It was as if her spirit left her and something else came in. Then she opened her eyes and looked around, looked at me.
By then, I was in meditation as well and as she looked at me I thought, "I am equal to you. You don't stand above me". She turned her head away in disgust, I guess as the vibrations came to her. Then it seemed as if something demonic took possesion of her. It was as if it had waited to meet me. She then connected with the other BK behind me, by eyesight.
Then it was as if a connecting wire was flung into the current and as if I vaguely heard the sound of a machine buzzing. I tried to stop it in thought, but couldn't. The next moment I noticed that my back was cut open and it hurt, but not in a physical way. A few seconds later it felt as if a knife or some other sharp object was cast into my back by the BK sitting behind me, with great force and anger.
I went home very upset and did not visit the BK centre for an few months. At home, I thought about the dreadful experience. I had read about non-BK mediums, healers that had spiritual helpers and did spiritual surgery on people to help them overcome diseases but this was nothing like that I said to myself. Then I thought about some kind of a punishment. Maybe because I was too bold. But it seemed more like a lynching. I did not know what to do with the experience and put it away.
In April 1992, I left the BK and never came back to them and stopped meditating. In 1994/1995, I had been abroad for a few months. When I came back, I felt at unease and tried hard to go back to the life I led before, to resume my life after the BK.
Via a family member I came in contact with a woman. She said she could help me. I just told her I had been abroad and had difficulty taking up my old life again. I just told her about my stay abroad.
Then she said she would help me and told me about the worse things that happened during my time at the BK. When she started, she told me she was getting an headache. It worsened and worsened at the point she almost had to vomit. I asked what was happening and she told me that all the bad things done to me went away via her.
She stopped, waited a few moments and than started again. The headaches came back to a point the she almost fainted. Then it got better. She told me she could see what happened. I had suffered from intense oxygen depletion, due to suffocation. She told me about people dressed in white that stood by my side and strangled me with silk bands. She also told me about the time my back was cut open and that there was a sharp object left there. She helped me in healing that wound.
Later when we talked, I asked how it was possible that I did not notice most of the things that happened to me. The woman told me it was because I was unconsious, deep asleep. When I was meditating I surrendered completely. I was defenseless and they could do with me whatever they wanted. I was completely in their power.
I told her though, that I had witnessed the lynching when the BKs cut my back. She told me that one time, at the end of meditation, I had fainted and did not respond to their calling. The BK had come to me and wokened me up and offered me some water. I was sitting in lotus position. It had happened just as she told.
During the time the woman gave me the healing, she reported that she was attacked and pushed aside. She told me it was by them who had done harm to me.
Later on, I told her that sometimes I had nightmares in which I dreamt that I was chocked. It started when I left the cult and has lasted for years. The woman told me these nightmares were the body remembering abuse recorded at an unconsious level.
After this meeting, I talked with her over the phone a few times. The woman explained to me that my vocal chords were injured and that I needed to heal them by singing special tones. I did not know how to do this and tried, but gave up. At the time, when I was with the BKs, I noticed once though, after a meditation, that when I tried to talk, my voice shifted to scratching, squeaking shortly. Since that time, I sometimes had little control over my voice for a few moments, especially when I was nervous. Years later, I had to consult a logopedist because I had small noodles on my vocal chords. I healed myself with speaking and tone-exercises.
I asked the woman why the BKs did the things they did and she told me that they had exerted extreme mesures to break my spirit and make a zombie of me. The reason they did this was because they wanted to possess the power I had with me, but it was in vain, because it was innate and could not be taken away. I had had my doubts after I left the cult and never exactly knew what had been going on there. To me, this explanation of hers was like the dawning of the truth.
She also told me it was useless asking why. They did this abuse with everyone.
This is roughly the story I Iived through it. I don't mind what other people think about it. These are my experiences. I am not going to bargain or negotiate over it. Take it or leave it as it is.
For me, having experienced this, I find it hard to believe that the suppreme being, or Baba, or BapDada or God, or Shiva or whatever the name given is, is so benevolent. I got no protection whatsoever from this soul. If it is all-knowing, all-seeing etc. it knew what was going on and did nothing to stop them. The BK that abused me were trained by it, energized by it and probably got The Knowledge to do this from it. Does this make it a suppreme being?
And do you know what the "suppreme soul" said to the BK that lynched me behind my back, a few months later when they were in Madhuban and were able to draw his attention amongst the crowd? "You are very good and clever in fastly giving the correct answers".