http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/j/jimmorr ... 52476.htmlIts very powerful, when Jim Morrison sings, "Father? I want to kill you! Mother ...", if necessary, cut the strings!
I think that we can be powerful yogis, without intermediaries or intruders, who pretend just to be there to facilitate our learning and our meditation, but do interfere and try to take us over. We are capable of using our discrimination power as well as following our gut feelings, and take decisions accordingly. I thought the BKs opened my third eye in the beginning, but they later infiltrated in it.
So, who is who, what's Maya? Who are the enemies and vampires? In lokik life, we don't like being used by friends, colleagues, partners. We do not want to be around opportunistic, phoney people, con artists. I must confess that some time, in the very beginning, when I took Gyan, whilst I was having very powerful realizations and meditation experiences, flying stage, super sensuous joy ...
my instinct tried to tell me that "this is clearly a sect". But I did not listen, like we don't listen when we fall in love. In romantic relationships, often when things deteriorate and the true nature of other person becomes evident, and so the incompatibilities, we must admit, in hindsight that we knew all the way, just we did not want to fall out of love too soon, because it felt good or it felt like a failure to give it a cut earlier, or we were afraid of what would happen next, having to face loneliness and pain. In fact, it can be a new birth, new doors may open, in this case, fresh spiritual growth.
Associating to a sect, is like a drug. Some people, once ready to stop, tired of all the complications and side effects, and the desert and destruction they created around themselves, give it a cut abruptly, some stop gradually. I belong to the latter category. In all relationships, I found it difficult to leave suddenly, but once I have accumulated enough evidence and distaste, I go, and there's no return. You may grant them a fair trial, study the case according to your own pace.
So, I deem right the advice many posters have been giving of taking your time, finding some peace, and cleansing your mind, detox, lightening it up from all the stuff the BKs, like ex-l said, pushed in it.
I am just realizing that
one of the techniques the sect utilizes, is that of not only pressuring people, but rushing them into something : commitments to a path, principles, service, moving into a bhawan, joining retreats. Add the love bombing, followed by confusing information, inconsistencies and ambiguities, the disappointment one feels when noticing that high ranks ,supposed to be examples, preach something and in fact have no dharna and no love.
No wonder one feels as if the head has been in a spin and there are good chances that he/she will end up obeying without questioning, because after such a mis treatment, mind and intellect are worn out and cannot be utilized!
Just like my friend's poodle the day she came back from the dog's hairdresser, washed, shaved, caged, perfumed and air blow dried, she was acting like crazy, running up and down, unrecognizable, far from her true normal self she was few hours earlier, with a natural long fur full of dreadlocks!!