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When a relationship with a spiritual teacher is unhealthy

https://brahmakumaris.info/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2421

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When a relationship with a spiritual teacher is unhealthy

PostPosted: 24 Jan 2010
by because.parmeshwar
STRONG INDICATIONS when Relationship with a Spiritual Teacher is Unhealthy

Strong Indications that our Relationship with a Spiritual Teacher is unhealthy

1. Instead of loving from our hearts, we expect our teacher’s love to fill our empty spaces.

2. Because we cannot love ourselves, we focus our attention on getting our leader to love us more.

3. When we have no spiritual leader, we panic instead of working on our growth.

4. We try to protect ourselves from our teacher because we feel fearful and vulnerable, yet we stay in the relationship and pretend nothing is wrong.

5. The leader seems to be our missing half.

6. Instead of feeling comforted and peaceful in the presence of the teacher, we feel anxious or angry.

7. The longer we stay with this teacher, the more our fear and dependency increase.

8. Without the teacher, we fear spiritual or emotional destruction.

9. Rather than broadening our horizons and interests, our relationship with the teacher dramatically narrows them.

10. We think obsessively about the teacher, have imaginary conversations, and are unable to focus on other parts of our lives.

11. Our friends, values, and interests drop away or change as we become more involved with the leader or the group.

Re: When a relationship with a spiritual teacher is unhealthy

PostPosted: 24 Jan 2010
by clearernow
Interesting!

    Is this based on your experiences with centre-in-charges or spiritual Gurus?
    Did you mean the spiritual teacher to signify human beings or includes God as well?

Re: When a relationship with a spiritual teacher is unhealthy

PostPosted: 24 Jan 2010
by because.parmeshwar
They are the indications came out after research done by Rosane Henry, a professional counselor licensed in the state of Colorado helping people evaluate harm in cultic groups, relationships, and potentially abusive organizations. Understanding how destructive cults gradually and deceptively evolve helps create viable strategies for protection, departure and recovery.

If you or any one else find any of these indications please be aware ...

Re: When a relationship with a spiritual teacher is unhealthy

PostPosted: 24 Jan 2010
by clearernow
because.parmeshwar wrote:They are the indications came out after research done by Rosane Henry, a professional counselor licensed in the state of Colorado helping people evaluate harm in cultic groups, relationships, and potentially abusive organizations. Understanding how destructive cults gradually and deceptively evolve helps create viable strategies for protection, departure and recovery.

If you or any one else find any of these indications please be aware ...


What I learned, and still practice, is having God as your Spiritual guide - I, actually, never looked up to the gurus, centre in-charges, teachers, leaders of any institute and always considered them mediums.

But it is good to use these indications as signs of weakness - it could be in your inner self or in the oranizations either ways.

Re: When a relationship with a spiritual teacher is unhealthy

PostPosted: 25 Jan 2010
by ex-l
Also on her website, I found the following interesting:
THE CULT LEADER AS PSYCHOPATH

    “Cultic groups and relationships are formed primarily to meet specific emotional needs of the leader, many of whom suffer from one or another emotional or character disorder. Few, if any, cult leaders subject themselves to the psychological tests or prolonged clinical interviews that allow for an accurate diagnosis. However, researchers and clinicians who have observed these individuals describe them... on a spectrum exhibiting neurotic, sociopathic, and psychotic characteristics, or suffering from a diagnosed personality disorder.”
Lalich, J. & Tobias, M. (2006) Take Back Your Life. Berkeley, CA: Bay Tree Publishing

Most of the former members that I have seen in my private practice over the last fifteen years have identified their cult leader as borderline, narcissistic, anti social and histrionic ... cluster B personality disorders. Reviewing these diagnostic criteria usually helps the client to separate further from the craziness of the cult environment so he/she can see more clearly where the insanity originates ... with the cult leader.

Now, please bear in mind that the Brahma Kumari cult started with a middle age man in his 40s or 50s (Lekhraj Kirpalani) surrounding himself with beautiful young women and either claiming to be God, or allowing them to claim he was God, and the Gita Sermonizer for about 18 years until 1950. At that point he or they changed then their claim so that he was "not God" any more ... but the only true medium of another God.

So,
    a) Please, honestly, how insane is that? ... and
    b) Where does the insanity originate from?
Cluster B (dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders)

Antisocial personality disorder (DSM-IV code 301.7): a pervasive disregard for the law and the rights of others. - check, yes
Borderline personality disorder (DSM-IV code 301.83): extreme "black and white" thinking, instability in relationships, self-image, identity and behavior. - check, yes
Histrionic personality disorder (DSM-IV code 301.50): pervasive attention-seeking behavior including inappropriate seductiveness and shallow or exaggerated emotions. - check, yes
Narcissistic personality disorder (DSM-IV code 301.81): a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. - check, yes

The Narcissistic Personality Disorder is founded on a sense of fantastic grandiosity, brilliance, perfection, and power (omnipotence).

The narcissist lacks empathy, is exploitative, and compulsively seeks narcissistic supply (attention, admiration, adulation, being feared, etc) to buttress his False Self - a confabulated "person" aimed at inspiring awe and extracting compliance and subservience from others.

Does that sound familiar?

Re: When a relationship with a spiritual teacher is unhealthy

PostPosted: 26 Jan 2010
by rayoflight
ex-l wrote:Does that sound familiar?

Yes and thank you because.parmeshwar for posting.

This information is accurate to my experience as well.

My most recent observations are the following: the further away I get from the BK, the clearer the psychological profile of the cult organisation becomes. It is only by taking distance that clarity has been able to return or perhaps, arrive for the first time. This Forum is an absolute necessity to anyone wishing to break free from the chains of the so-called "spiritual university" of the BKWSO.