21 Oct 2010
Hi Kumar,
You have many, many options open to you now. Please don't despair. It sounds to me like you were a very sincere person. So what you did in BK is fine! If you need to move on, well great.
You can have a wonderful and happy life. First of all, get rid of any thinking that life is somehow wrong. Mix with people. See the good in them and enjoy that wonderful tapestry. And by the way, you don't have to start drinking alcohol or mixing with people who you are not comfortable with. You can fashion your life in a way that suits you personally. For example, I don't go to the local biker clubhouse just because I am an ex-BK. But you do need to learn to mix with people again.
Life is good! This is a fundamental truth. Accept that. Embrace it. You do not have to punish yourself for being human, having feelings and having needs. It may take a while.
You could still pursue spirituality if you like. Just listen to your own needs and nurture yourself through this period. Definitely find things you enjoy that make you feel happy like movies and hobbies.
In terms of indecision, yes we "stuff around" sometimes (to use Australian slang). You have to make some decisions about your life. Go on, be an adult. :) Welcome to the human race.
Cheers,
Sword