Well ex-I,
There are two topics in your last post.
Dadi Gulzar and Bap Dada.
Your issue is with Bap Dada. The words "Baba comes and gives his own introduction" in some minds inspires faith. In yours it promotes doubt.
When I left the BK I was very angry with God for the first time in my life. How could God give me so much pain? As I gradually disentangled myself from the web of BK interaction I found, one day that I could create thoughts of faith without the nagging doubt that had plagued me through my study. It was an easy matter, just to create a thought of faith, to leave the doubt alone. What good that has done me I am not sure, no classes, no Murlis, BK putting the phone down on me etc. These BK have left me with no alternative but to forget all about Bap Dad and create different thought forms and therefore a different life.
Now your situation is other than mine, if for example, you suddenly found that you could create thoughts of faith the BK would welcome you with open arms. Perhaps they would be influenced by the notion that this forum would cease, though if they were really responsible they would support it. I can see it now, you standing in front of Bap Dada and he saying Accha! ex-I, I have heard so much about you! Continue with the good work! Come and see me whenever you wish! You have understood my true wishes, I never wanted to exclude anyone, its these Sisters that messed it up, I am their prisoner! Then he may say "Are you still in touch with that John Morgan, you know the creative writer? Well, bring him next time, he has direct experience of my being the funniest person in the world.
So thoughts of faith or thoughts of doubt? Do we really have a choice, Yes! But and its a big one, so important to be careful, to have deep faith and let the Sisters do anything they like still makes my alarm bells ring so loud the sound is deafening![Exclamation :!:](./images/smilies/icon_exclaim.gif)
There are two topics in your last post.
Dadi Gulzar and Bap Dada.
Your issue is with Bap Dada. The words "Baba comes and gives his own introduction" in some minds inspires faith. In yours it promotes doubt.
When I left the BK I was very angry with God for the first time in my life. How could God give me so much pain? As I gradually disentangled myself from the web of BK interaction I found, one day that I could create thoughts of faith without the nagging doubt that had plagued me through my study. It was an easy matter, just to create a thought of faith, to leave the doubt alone. What good that has done me I am not sure, no classes, no Murlis, BK putting the phone down on me etc. These BK have left me with no alternative but to forget all about Bap Dad and create different thought forms and therefore a different life.
Now your situation is other than mine, if for example, you suddenly found that you could create thoughts of faith the BK would welcome you with open arms. Perhaps they would be influenced by the notion that this forum would cease, though if they were really responsible they would support it. I can see it now, you standing in front of Bap Dada and he saying Accha! ex-I, I have heard so much about you! Continue with the good work! Come and see me whenever you wish! You have understood my true wishes, I never wanted to exclude anyone, its these Sisters that messed it up, I am their prisoner! Then he may say "Are you still in touch with that John Morgan, you know the creative writer? Well, bring him next time, he has direct experience of my being the funniest person in the world.
![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif)
So thoughts of faith or thoughts of doubt? Do we really have a choice, Yes! But and its a big one, so important to be careful, to have deep faith and let the Sisters do anything they like still makes my alarm bells ring so loud the sound is deafening
![Exclamation :!:](./images/smilies/icon_exclaim.gif)