01 Jun 2007
This topic that started with such an unpretentious title, is becoming very interesting, thanks to the contributors. Some powerful and spontaneous experiences I had with a friend, awakened in me some interest in reading a little bit about Tantra, and I am sure this will be a topic I will explore more. So the lines In the night wrote about the Mexican healer sharing his secret to joy in life: head heart and desires agreeing, resonate. And explain why BKs often feel no joy, but a lot of neurosis and schizophrenia. Yes, the head only rules, for BKs. The other 2 are "inferior" energies and chakras. What does Baba mean when he says, make your subjects cooperate? If there's a constant internal battle where sexual and heart energy are oppressed, how can the poor human have peace?
One of the typical accusations BKs get from outsiders, lokiks, is about wanting to split humans in body and mind conscious beings, assessing total supremacy of the mind and denying the role of the body, or dismissing it as a possible vehicle of anything positive ( except for teaching courses or karma Yoga!!). I will eventually post more on this, on the sex and gender topic, and sex abuse.
But just to show my appreciation to what has been written in here, let me tell you that all that repression business the BK put on us, never convinced me, nor did me any good. I tried for a short while, did not work. And I noticed that those who used in their life repression and pretence as a method, either became bossy and bitter with self and others, or left Baba and Gyan. As a young BK, I was savouring the privilege of not being on the stage, on the gaddhi, because I thought it must be very uncomfortable and embarassing to change your clothes, transform sanskars whilst in front of everyone, in the role of teachers. Often pretending to be already perfect or more perfect than others.
Better play with costumes back stage, more fun. Preparation was going on all the time, but more incognito. Paul, when you talk about acknowledging our shadows, it's true. Baba's method I understand is "burning the roots of old sanskars through tapassya". This is a very esoteric method but not always easy to implement and if we deny and suppress our defects, what material do we give Baba for "burning"? So, whether he's laundryman, or surgeon, he requires honesty from us, our patience and mercy for the self. So this perfectionism and stress, who instigated it and how did it became fundamental? SS?
I did appreciate the possibility to master my self and my moods, in the sense of observing myself and deciding to discard negative thoughts, so I can always be happy. Self control, I think is different from repression or pretending to be angels or despising ourselves when we aren't or other people for being less pure and perfect. I don’t think it has to be a rigid control, rather loving the self and being alert to where a thought comes from, where is it leading me, and if I want to feel good and make those around me feel good too, act accordingly! And this has to do with my well being NOW, not with the status I may or maynot receive in Golden Age! (Zhuk was mentioning this mirage/reward of Golden Age that may turn into a threat in case we "fail, or misbehave"). How else can I discriminate a good or bad thought or value, if not against my happiness? Easiest standard is this, and what makes me happy is: respecting my conscience, my true self. Thinking and doing something that IS ME. Being with people and situations that are in tune with ME. And often the BK were not the case!! Neither I belong to tamo people or situ.
This is why many ex-BKs feel lonely and confused, "I don’t belong here nor there!". About what the Florida wise man Pilatus spoke with: definitely as BKs we were not allowed to integrate anything or left the freedom to sort it out for ourselves. Very rigid standards indeed, coming from "this is the only God, only Truth, only Knoweledge, only elevated community" arrogance. If we are "here", it’s because we did not find all answers in BK organization, and want to know more. Because it did not work, something was missing. And better to look for it, rather than “leaving Gyan and Baba” altogether.
As Joel put it, in another topic, "this forum is a positive place to express ...", for me it’s good to have the Forum as a lab in which "grinding our own ingredients" and experimenting. So, nothing is simple, but I love the process! And freedom is the right atmosphere to do research in.