Hi, Cranuta. Think it this way: God saved you. Like Ray said, if we were to prepare a case study of BKs and same would apply to all sect members and religion fanatics, we would find out that most are unbalanced individuals and the range can include extreme "nut cases".
As soon as I read your post, a memory re-emerged in my mind about something which I found curious and true when I read it in some Al-Anon book, or heard at some of the meetings I was attending (the groups exist in order to support relative and friends of alcoholics).
Alcoholics can be very charismatic ... at times. They can talk, laugh, fun to be with. That's the stage prior to disaster. Most of them do not throw up and collapse on the round, or shout insults at people and hit them in the initial phase. The same could be said about addicts, especially people with co-dependent personalities and saviors, are vulnerable to their charms.
For decades, psychologists have been writing and published books about women who are sub-consciously and repeatedly attracted to "bad guys", or the "wrong type of man" for them, because something weird or harmful resonates with our past and we go for that thrill, rather than the safety and sanity a normal man could give us ...
. We can sense danger and, instead of running away, we are attracted by it, getting involved in something destructive and beyond our control.
I apology for the analogy but, you know, BKs are specifically trained for attracting others magnetically through vibrations and drishti. Actually, the teaching is that through your lifestyle and pure vibes, you should inspire others to get closer to God, you should be a humble "trustee", a go-between. But we know humans easily "derail" and misuse power and misinterpret teachings.
So, don't be too surprised if you were lured into some kind of relationship. As you can read in Jannisder's story, and many others, the BK friend is a bundle of mixed feelings, lots of them connected with guilt and delusions of grandeur, mythomania, fantasies, giving out mixed messages and having not only a hidden agenda but a "zombie's agenda" because they are brainwashed and not in control of their mind/lives. This increases enormously the degree of
unpredictability in their behaviours, moodiness, etc ...
Can you picture the hell that one can create for herself by becoming entangled emotionally with someone who believes in the BK dogmas and lifestyle which includes even tenderness and cuddling being ruled out?Cherry on the cake, the "spiritual family" and the spooks interfering every minute, worse than an ex-wife or mother-in-law breaking your balls!! Either you leave, go insane, or end up attacking them with a machete and go to jail for attempted murder! What a scenario!
Be grateful to the Almighty that you've been spared a lot of trouble!!