It occurred to me that Jan, Katie and myself have many things in common with our situations. For example, we are all in the same age bracket. Katie and my children are roughly the same ages. (Forgive me Jan, I don't know your circumstances here). We obviously have been married and divorced, or had a very close marriage type situation previously.
We have chosen to be with men who attracted us initially by their gentle, sincere approaches and their spirituality and their ability to have fun and intimacy. Little did we know these men knew their connections with BKs, knew fully of the teachings, had become very involved with the BKs, obviously left the organisation, knowingly got romantically involved with someone to a deep extent, did not disclose any information of this history, and once settled, reverts back to the BKs. I hadn't told you good people but we have only been together for 2 years as well. Jan's relationship is also very new. And the thing is we are not teenagers and I don't think any of us would consider ourselves to be totally naive and innocent of human nature at our ages. Just BK nature ... I had never heard of them before this like Katie.
These men's mood swings, the roller coaster, the deception, our ages, our circumstances. I too was the one who earned the good money, and had the ability to get the house, the financial wherewithal, the ability to set my goals and achieve them. It looked like he did but obviously he did not. I don't know the situation with Jan and her friend's personal situation. Katie is obviously securely set up and Jan has a certain standard of living as well. This brings a few questions to mind and I would love your ideas on this. BKs, ex BK, PBKs and friends and families. All comments welcome.
Why have we these things in common? Is it just our age and we are at a stage in life where we are more active in seeking answers and support?
Why are we in the situation only us women are speaking? Where are the men and what are their circumstances? We know they exist but where are they and how do they cope? Why have these men left the BKs, actively sought involved and fully committed relationships (or the unspoken promise of same), deceived their partners to such an extent and then returned to the BKs? What do they hope to accomplish and why have they done it? They cannot have done this unknowingly, so why so irresponsible and such irreprehensible behaviour?
Are these particular men attracted to a security and strength in us in the beginning and through their subconscience hoping we can fix their lives and do an 'eternal feel good' for them?
And then when, of course, this doesn't work they perhaps feel intimidated and 2nd class to these women and revert back to the BKs to 'fix' it, to hide or to seek justification in their lack of self-esteem and ability to produce the goods? Thereby passing the buck (problem/responsibility) onto the female they are possibly envious of? My man actually admitted to me that I had more spirituality about me than him and thus made him feel totally empty. Are our men having mid life crisis? Trying to find a higher meaning to make of their life as they are at least half way through it, and what do they have to show for it? Just a bit of food for thought (or is this churning?) Might make a BK yet not.
Please do not misread me, I do not want to sound egotistical. These are theoretical questions and may or may not apply. I do not think I am anything exceptional, far from it, but I was brought up by my parents to learn to use the humble gifts and skills I had been given to the best of my ability. Besides, being a working single mum totally responsible for your children tends to make you rather resourceful and adaptable.
I would be very interested in your very experienced opinions on this and other questions you can think of relating to our common life/age/materialistic/children/menfolk situations. Of course, our very painful and negative experiences with the BKs is not limited to our very similar situations, but it would appear that it is a definite group. To me, if I can understand at least some of these questions, I can understand the whole situation more and it helps me deal with it in a more productive ie less emotional reactive way. Mainly to get the answer to why would they know what the BKs are all about, chase us for a committed relationship and be so outrightly deceptive and then destroy that relationship to revert to the BKs.
Is it nothing but a big fear/guilt trip they are on? But surely they must have had some idea? Or am I expecting too much thinking from self/group hypnosis/mind control victims? Is this a secret deep knowledge tactic of the BK underground to recruit more people for service? Marry them, bring them in, then dump them (or is this finally sending me paranoid?). I do understand their are different personalities involved here but is it the squashing of the personality into a servient state that is the problem and connects us all in this situation?
Sorry all, just an edit. Have to put it the way it happened. I told him I felt I was a spiritual person and he said, "Yes, it made him feel empty". Sorry
We have chosen to be with men who attracted us initially by their gentle, sincere approaches and their spirituality and their ability to have fun and intimacy. Little did we know these men knew their connections with BKs, knew fully of the teachings, had become very involved with the BKs, obviously left the organisation, knowingly got romantically involved with someone to a deep extent, did not disclose any information of this history, and once settled, reverts back to the BKs. I hadn't told you good people but we have only been together for 2 years as well. Jan's relationship is also very new. And the thing is we are not teenagers and I don't think any of us would consider ourselves to be totally naive and innocent of human nature at our ages. Just BK nature ... I had never heard of them before this like Katie.
These men's mood swings, the roller coaster, the deception, our ages, our circumstances. I too was the one who earned the good money, and had the ability to get the house, the financial wherewithal, the ability to set my goals and achieve them. It looked like he did but obviously he did not. I don't know the situation with Jan and her friend's personal situation. Katie is obviously securely set up and Jan has a certain standard of living as well. This brings a few questions to mind and I would love your ideas on this. BKs, ex BK, PBKs and friends and families. All comments welcome.
Why have we these things in common? Is it just our age and we are at a stage in life where we are more active in seeking answers and support?
Why are we in the situation only us women are speaking? Where are the men and what are their circumstances? We know they exist but where are they and how do they cope? Why have these men left the BKs, actively sought involved and fully committed relationships (or the unspoken promise of same), deceived their partners to such an extent and then returned to the BKs? What do they hope to accomplish and why have they done it? They cannot have done this unknowingly, so why so irresponsible and such irreprehensible behaviour?
Are these particular men attracted to a security and strength in us in the beginning and through their subconscience hoping we can fix their lives and do an 'eternal feel good' for them?
And then when, of course, this doesn't work they perhaps feel intimidated and 2nd class to these women and revert back to the BKs to 'fix' it, to hide or to seek justification in their lack of self-esteem and ability to produce the goods? Thereby passing the buck (problem/responsibility) onto the female they are possibly envious of? My man actually admitted to me that I had more spirituality about me than him and thus made him feel totally empty. Are our men having mid life crisis? Trying to find a higher meaning to make of their life as they are at least half way through it, and what do they have to show for it? Just a bit of food for thought (or is this churning?) Might make a BK yet not.
Please do not misread me, I do not want to sound egotistical. These are theoretical questions and may or may not apply. I do not think I am anything exceptional, far from it, but I was brought up by my parents to learn to use the humble gifts and skills I had been given to the best of my ability. Besides, being a working single mum totally responsible for your children tends to make you rather resourceful and adaptable.
I would be very interested in your very experienced opinions on this and other questions you can think of relating to our common life/age/materialistic/children/menfolk situations. Of course, our very painful and negative experiences with the BKs is not limited to our very similar situations, but it would appear that it is a definite group. To me, if I can understand at least some of these questions, I can understand the whole situation more and it helps me deal with it in a more productive ie less emotional reactive way. Mainly to get the answer to why would they know what the BKs are all about, chase us for a committed relationship and be so outrightly deceptive and then destroy that relationship to revert to the BKs.
Is it nothing but a big fear/guilt trip they are on? But surely they must have had some idea? Or am I expecting too much thinking from self/group hypnosis/mind control victims? Is this a secret deep knowledge tactic of the BK underground to recruit more people for service? Marry them, bring them in, then dump them (or is this finally sending me paranoid?). I do understand their are different personalities involved here but is it the squashing of the personality into a servient state that is the problem and connects us all in this situation?
Sorry all, just an edit. Have to put it the way it happened. I told him I felt I was a spiritual person and he said, "Yes, it made him feel empty". Sorry