nischaybuddi wrote:This is my nature, and I really feel pain being alone, how long can one remember Baba, and then you can’t do other work or what normal people do ... But being ALONE is killing me from inside, I cannot turn back. I have to keep the light of faith burning till my death. May I ask you? Is there any individual spending his life alone? Without lokik or alokik family? How is he surviving in this big world? At least being in Gyan you can have some relation with the GOD Almighty.
Well, thank you for the honesty and openness of your response. As Mr Green says, it does express the complication of your current situation and your true feelings, and all of us here will respect that greatly.
Most, or all of us, have been in exactly the same situation.All of us here do recognise the typical BKWSU-style brainwash, or propaganda≤ and will react against that. We have seen behind the project and know very well what the projection is ... because we used to project it ourselves. So, if we have responded negatively, it is not towards YOU but to IT.
In my opinion, it is a real "pain". That is to say, human beings are meant to be social, flexible, group or family orientated and Brahma Kumarism has interfered with that. It has used the false "imminent Destruction" scenario to excuse some unforgivably crimes against individuals and their families. Cutting off all those parts of the self, those natural desires hurts the human aspect of us.
Are you male? Obviously, the Brahma Kumari religion is not set up to look after old males in the same way as old females who can adopt to center life. Obviously, the whole Brahma Kumari religion never considered the whole aspect of individuals retiring and old age as they have been believing in Destruction being two or three years away for 70 years. Obviously, the leadership know this and are turning a blind eye to the problems they are facing.
Again my time is short today and this is a serious question many face. Of course, many, many, many BKs just step aside from the ridiculous atmosphere of the centers and the increasing mega-corporated approach. They keep their faith and practise it their way silently, and be happy. Doing good as best you can if wonderful. Personally, I saw beyond the limitation of the Seniors a long time before I left, I just got sick of all the chasing after VIPs and rich people. It was not my idea of Godly religion.
Just recently, I have been thinking about what is the 'Karmic mechanism' that makes following their orders karmically 'more valuable' and just plain old fashion good karma. Obviously there is no magical BK karma machine. It is rubbish. So your "karma" is between you and God. Do your own karma in "god consciousness" ,and if you want the idea of reward, it is yours. Even better ... have no consciousness of reward as Religion teaches us.
Doing your own karma ... walking your own path as Lekhraj Kirpalani did ... teaches you YOUR OWN lessons. Lessons you need, not lessons they think you need, nor enslaves you to their money box. I argue that "to follow the Father" means to do what Lekhraj Kirpalani did, not to be a slave to someone else but to find one's own religion.In truth, I think that pain is because you are not following your heart. One part of you is telling you how much you are hurting it. You have to follow that pain to find your way out of what is wrong for you.
I, am sorry to say, but I also think that "pain" will stay with us for our lives leading us and guiding us to what we should be doing and where we should be ... if we listen. It will become less the more we listen and follow it successfully. Killing it. Silencing it. Blocking it out ... wont work. You have to listen to it.
Unfortunately, with all respect to all of the good religious aspects of Brahma Kumarism, we all know that Brahma Kumaris has developed into a mind control cult. That there are many yuktis applied just to keep, controlling and exploiting individuals for as long as possible.
It has lost its path. So you should have no fear about losing it. Create your own path and don't listen to their stupidity. If you wish to try to serve them, and you think they are truly worth it, then do so but, alternatively, feel free to try other lives of service which will fulfill you better.
My answer to that pain is to find something to do ... a "project" ... a mission of your own. Something obviously good and practical which ordinary down to earth individuals will be grateful for. Their gratitude will fill your heart again.
In my opinion, Brahma Kumarism is a one way path ... one way in that you give out to the organization and their god but nothing comes back. You might get just a little, enough to keep you addicted, but you are bleeding yourself dry for an insane false dream. One that is now being "re-manufactured" by nothing any more spiritual than marketing men and women. Not even real gurus.
As human beings, we have to be part of complete loops in which we give out and we receive "life blood" back just like farmers who sow, reap and then recycle waste to feed the next years crop. It has to be a complete cycle.
You are older now, you have probably given lots to the BK company, but a creative interesting life is still possible. India gives you many opportunities to help others and it is easier and more open than many other countries. You could even find a partner or some other partners to live and work with.
Try helping and teaching children, environmental projects, there are terrible problems with sex trafficking and prostitution of young girls. Try living in a world that is not covered in the darkness of Destruction where other people are still thinking of a positive future and enjoying life. Share their hopes and enjoyment.
Even if it is futile ... even if Destruction does come ... I tell you it will be a better life until then.
And if you do have to do BK service, do it being honest about all the problems, difficulties and controversies. In fact, sorting them all out would be good work to do.