Personal story

Wah, Brothers,

All at once spoke of not having time. But what do you have time for? What are you all so busy in, more important than that the Supreme Soul has come? Why would you like to listen to anyone and discuss anything instead of listening to him directly? And it is as if you all know me better than myself I know myself.

You want a personal story…OK…just listen…have I ever thought….no…have I ever dreamt of…even in my most courageous dreams…it is not the face and not the voice….but yes it is even the face and the voice…but it is the meaning that makes the heart happy…all like understanding…but what a better understanding than his…the one who has the desire and capability to uplift you….why would he??? Because he is the Supreme Soul, always a soul, never a body /meaning bodyconciousness/. but sometimes in a body. Now. It’s just I have no other interest and other thing to share.

OK. I’m 27. Live in Sofia, Bulgaria, with my mother Father and grandmother. I have a married Brother. I have a love of my heart that runs away from me, that is too scared of me. Oh what should I do, how should I change myself. How should I approach her. How should I make her love me too. I became a BK…no cannot say…when can one say I’m a BK…why…when one starts waking up early in the morning???…but Brothers…I lost all my sleep…I would not like to sleep anymore at all…when one becomes vegetarian???…but vegetarian have also a meaning of…not eating meat of bodyconciousness.

I just came to know The Knowledge when a Sister from abroad came. I had previously found by chance BK website and wrote a letter that we need a meditation center, because people are unhappy and cannot lift their heads or look at the eyes. People are very very unhappy. So I came to know I’m a soul and did not slept all night long. Was looking at the stars, thinking it’s what I am. Was feeling full and secure. Was singing on the streets. Was enthusiastic to tell everyone. It was 6 years ago. Have always liked to go to India. Felt a pull. Knew there is something special there.

This Sister went, we kept contact, she came again. One day I went to Murli. Did not heard anything or understand anything, but only one thing I heard and understood very well, one thing stroke my heart so deeply from the Murli “…why have you become so poor…” …yes brothes, matherially I’m poor, my family and I have even debts to the heating company when in winter we have heating…we cannot pay it…but there is food and clothing, shelter…but poor in sense of miserable, unhappy, without virtues, isn’t it... So other Brother came….oh it’s so long and interesting story I cannot tell you everything at once…one should ask.

November 2005 I went to India and felt the peace. Went to Mount Abu, went to Kampil. Met Baba. He said he has made me an instrument, but cannot remember did he say for Bulgaria…I suppose I’m instrument for my own benefit first then to close ones, city, country, etc. What I remember is the vision I first looked or better to say he looked into my eyes. I felt full. I felt I have been so untruthful to myself, to him, at first glance let’s say he looked to me as a bandit. But OK when I entered…But it is a whole, whole story…how I was traveling etc, etc, what did I passed through inside…impressions…please ask…what to tell more.

I work I studied, left the study, went abroad, left the work, returned, roaming at the country, sticking posters…left home…returned…threw away all my belongings…many many things…how did I came to know Baba…found the site read two lines and my heart flied to him to embrace him “My Baba”, liked to call on the phone…sending him e-mails…but it’s not time for songs now not time for poetry, but OK it’s an experience…“I was looking and was not finding and was crying, you were not looking and were not crying, so you didn’t find. I found.”

Had a girl friend she left me because of purity…had an active youth life – discos, drinking, smoking marihuana, girls. All left me all did not understand me…oh I’m in a sect…oh…my mother was washing my face with holy water…asked to talk to priests. OK lets take a specific topic. Ask.

Went to London…was receiving Murlis...

Dear Andrey,

Om Shanti. Lovely story. Has living with your lokik family become easier or it is still difficult? What did you do in London?

Now living with my lokik familly is very easy. With my mother we don't converse at all. I have put the pictures of knowledge on the wall. I cook my food, but there is good atmosphere, sometimes when we gather on a party I talk to them and it seem that they resist less and less. My Father has always supported me. They are very good and liberal parents. They are also clever.

They see that it is not something ordinary, but it takes time and you know...it is very easy to make an enemy bow down...and Baba say Maya is the first to surrender...but to persuade real ones...to make friends with an enemy is easy...but to make friend with the friend...because we are equal...you know...equally powerful...so the more quarrel is there the more love. I was in London for the Rakhi ceremony. when I entered GCH I thought, it should be very many times more powerful here.

Yes, thanks for becoming a human being Andrey.

You will be welcome here, sometimes challenged and sometimes inspired.

But the collective knowledge you will find might surprise you.

In the xBKChat forum we had a thread to discuss relationships and the issues that arise with BK life where folk shared their experience.

On this forum, we have a dedicated forum for just that as well. Perhaps you should ask the Admin if you can post there and start a thread just about the issues with your soul mate.

This is not something easily spoken about in BK or PBK circles and the Western tradition has different rules and different outlooks from the Bharatwasis.

Your experience of India sounds very interesting too, that is worth starting a topic about too.

ex-l