Because God does not interfere in our drama, he only gives the clues for us to understand whatever we want to understand, he cannot possibly say, that ShivBaba is played in the Chariot of Virendra Dev Dixit. Whether we understand it to be this way or not, it all depends on our part. Before I relate my experience, I would like to insist on the fact that in both BK and PBK world, there are all type of souls, from the different religions of the Kalpa, being pure, impure, loving the Father or defaming him, being humble or with a lot of ego ... I am a bit concerned when a PBK starts being patronizing and gives too much Advanced Knowledge. This is a place to share experience mostly, and to make a bridge between everyone of us. So the best quality is to be simple and human, no one is a flawless deity yet.
My first aim when I write in this website is that one day, for someone to think, yes this is something that makes sense to me, I would like to know further, is this Virendra Dev Dixit really playing the role of Shiva Baba?
This realisation cannot only come through the intellect, the heart is involved. When I heard about the Father, I was presented this new Gyan in the most clumsy way, by a very sweet soul, but so excited about it that she drowned me with The Knowledge she new, and her own deductions (manmat). Just before I was going through a stage of despair, I already shared my story in another post. It was then like a gentle breeze of peace that came over me, despite the crudeness of what I was told, as a BK, without having any idea of the existence of the Advance Party before.
Before even to meet Baba (in Virendra Dev Dixit), I felt the difference in my attitude in the center. As before I was shy, feeling easily fearful to speak to Seniors, and eager to please and be liked, I suddenly felt so strong and happy, and I did not care to be defamed and chucked out. That for me was a solid proof of his presence, more tangible. I started reading the clarifications in ShivBaba.ca (by the way, they have been amended, so you get, the filter of the translation and also a second filter of the souls who has written them down, lots of manmat). It was like the words on the paper were jumping on me with power, I felt the power and the soul consciousness, even if I did not understand much at that time.
Now, when I meditate, if I said that it is bliss every time, I would lie. It is at the same time harder and more powerful. Baba is purifying me when I connect with him. This is like a bucket of muddy water (me) with a lot of mud at the bottom. When I want to clean it by pouring clean pure water in it, the mud, before running out of the bucket, will have to appear at the surface. All the old sanskars and impurities are bound to pop up on the surface/consciousness of my mind. If it feels more intense that in BK time, it is because it is much more efficient. I have definitely seen so many changes in me. Baba keeps saying remember me, and explaining over and over how we have to remember him, this is for a good reason, he is the teacher, but also the purifier.
If we remember the body, we remember a corpse (shav), whether it is Lekhraj Kirpalani or Virendra Dev Dixit, we have to remember Shiv in the Chariot, Shiva Baba. Now for me, the living Chariot has to be Virendra Dev Dixit. In PBK also there are a lot who become devotional and are attached to the body of Virendra Dev Dixit, and that is not going to purify them. When we remember the point of light, as others have mentioned, it is incomplete. I used to love doing this sort of meditation, and also seeing myself in conversation with Lekhraj Kirpalani, both types for me are incomplete. As Baba (in Virendra Dev Dixit) says (if you want the extract I can find it somewhere): Remembering Shiv as a point will give a subtle and sharp intellect and this is the speciality of the westerners, but the heart is missing.
Baba has to come down and stay with us until the end, I have been with him, stayed (a bit ) with him, eaten with him, spoken with him. That is what gives me this love for him, what I remember also in my remembrance time. Meditation can be called Yaad, remembrance. As children, were we asked to remember our laukik Father? It is the same now, he is part of my life. When I remember something about knowledge, what I experienced with him, when I talk about him, I can feel this love in my heart, it is as simple as that, My aim would be to constantly remember him and his world, to be able to detach from the old world completely, not to be influenced any more by it. I can observe how I feel when my mind has been wandering in worldly matter, and how my mind is dwelling on Gyan and Baba, the most obvious difference is heaviness and lightness, boredom and serenity or happiness.
I felt a lot of love for Shiva Baba in Lekhraj Kirpalani, but now it is more, it is more concrete. When I write to him, or suddenly out of the blue, I feel his presence, and it is like a gift, a wave that erase all my negativity, something strong and beautiful. Because we can send our chart our worries, it is a concrete relationship.
What is new from the time of the BK, is the excitement of understanding new point of knowledge. I remember having this excitement at the beginning, when the Sakar Murlis were new to me, but then, because the questions were generally not answered, because we were not encouraged to study the Murli, that faded away. Now this is the contrary, churning is part of the purification process, and it is a source of real enjoyment. the mind becomes subtle when we churn, and when we will have understood the Gyan completely, we will be able to bring the mind back to the essence, the point.