28 Jul 2006
I’m glad here to share this experience to the Brahmin Brothers and Sisters,
When I had completed Bhatti in 21-2-06, I had only 27 hrs left to leave India. Rafiulla Bhai, the course instructor, Nagraj and everyone in Kampil would tell me ‘bacche aaye baap se milne aur baap na mile, yeh ho nahi sakta' (a child would come to meet Father, and Father wouldn’t meet him, it cannot be possible). This sentence would sound so powerful to me. Finally, when it was time to meet him, I was over-excited inside but no sooner Baba entered so typically with his old slippers and carrying his small bag, all my excitement was initially vanished. He was so so simple, even after doing bhatti I developed anischay buddhi at that moment.
To be honest, I was saying to myself, ‘you were wrong about Baba.’ Then, he sat in bed, and as he was looking into my eyes, I was like naked. I felt I was so untruthful to myself and to everyone. Then, gradually Baba began to seem so unnatural to me. I realised that meeting Baba in corporeal is completely different experience from watching him in the VCD*. (I also had an experience of a soul entering into my body which is so difficult to explain).
I couldn’t figure out why wasn’t I able to interacting with Baba normally? Maybe it was because of the vibration of the people inside the room or maybe my own negative thoughts, ‘I’m so disgusting and such an unreliable soul.’ This dilemma forced me to say him, ‘Baba I want to meet you personally.’ Having said this, all the people were out and it was just me and Baba inside the closed room. Now, I was able to look into his eyes naturally. There were not such talks of knowledge but rather about my feelings for Baba, my weaknesses, my inner experience in Gyan and so many things. He would appear so loveful and in a second, very lawful.
However, I was acting like a small baby to him, wanting to jump at him and cuddle him (but did not dare). This baby-instinct came out so naturally from inside, as if this nature had been always merged inside my soul and I was completely unaware about it before. I just talked and talked, he was there simply listening and sometimes smiling. It felt like he was there to perform his duty for his child. And sometimes, he seemed like a teacher, giving the best hints and suggestions to uplift in life. He could pass any moment just unaffected, as if the moment has bygone for him and will repeat only after 5000 years; such a nirakari stage he possess.
I remember one topic where I had explained about my subtle attachment(which is no longer now) with Brahma Baba and the audio Murlis imparted through him and asked him whether to stop listening to them. He just smiled at me and said, ‘no, keep on listening to them too.’ I understand now why he said this; it certainly takes time for a child to wean away the attachment for The Mother.
And before it was over, I hugged him again saying ‘Baba’. I knew I won’t be able to hug him in such a natural way due of my hesitation before the people there. To me Baba, at that moment, seemed so open and warm and wide. And later, we all dined with Baba having dahi and halwa. When it was time for him to go, he seemed so lovable as he waved his hand, ‘ bye bye.’
It’s almost 6 months since I left India. It is said that after a soul comes in Gyan, he has to go through the four stages. I fear of losing the intoxication when I would reach my tamopradhan stage. I wish this experience to everyone. I just want to make a humble request to take it just as an individual experience.
So, has any other PBK hugged Baba in corporeal meeting?