My 1001 anniversary post on 11.11.11.
I should not have been here at all if my life was not completely turned upside down by BK. I never expected it to be like this but it seems that even being in contact with a BK can mess you up tremendously.
After reading a quotation from a BK:
a BK follower wrote:For some time now a feeling of deeper disinterest has been growing steadily but it seems to be taking on the form of a strong pull beyond. Many things that used be able to pull the attention and interest now appear petty and even silly, like childish dolls. There is more and more pull to be in the Avyakt, to be with Baba, to be paras when observing the drama. Even interacting with others on the level of the drama does not fascinate anymore. As short as possible and only for the necessary.
It seems to me that BKs do not want to have anything to do with the world and the people in it, unless they are an easy target. When a hard target questions a quote like above saying it is world rejecting, the hard target does not understand and is ignored or banned because they mite become a problem, or I should say FREE from being target. Now how can we explain this.
For most people, we do not understand how on earth they get involved in the first place and believe this is NOT world rejecting. At first (in your Honeymoon Period), they say it was told to the young Dadi's at the beginning of the Yagya, so one had not to take it literally, but moving the up the BK road the mind gets polluted with this crap. The subliminal messages do there work and when they can be related to relationships. It works like honey for a bee to finally feel the "enlightenment".
This so called enlightenment is an answer to problems BKs might have and where the "outside" world has no ear, or the problems were never there because there was nothing to worry about until the target became a BK and family and friends start to worry and to question. People get tired of people in cults, it is exhausting to get all your energy sucked out, and even more when you live with the thought, "If I leave the friendship, the cult will say "see I told you she will desert you". If I stay, it is interpreted that the guru gave him a slave/servant.
In either case you have no status and unfortunately no real friendship. More or less you are even enculted by that thought only. I studied just about everything there was to study, from thought reform to how to deal with cult-members, sick leaders, deprogramming etc etc.
Keep that up for years, as I did, and your life is changed. Struggling with the feeling of not being good enough, to anger, jealousy, sadness, loneliness, loss of purpose and the feeling "is my thinking so very wrong", can keep you up at night, and not willing to let the guru be right it goes on and on and on. Gosh, it seems I even became an easy target.
It took a long time to finally realize to turn it around and to make HIM leave, with a whole bunch of guilt in his pocket to churn on. A quite unfair mind-game but, hey ... what they can do, I can do better ... And that's the spirit you need to rise!! Completely free from it all, I think not because the BK boat rocks and I like to watch when they sink, even a little bit to get their feet soaking wet.
Jann
11 Nov 2011
