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Alone

PostPosted: 09 Aug 2007
by Mr Green
Not as often as before but I still do become overcome with suicidal feelings, today I am awash with it ... thanks Baba, thanks Jayanti, thanks Dadi, thanks to all the other people who TOTALLY misguided my life then refused to help me in any tiny way.

If I ever do take my life, I want you to know (although I realise it is impossible for you to understand the concept of anything outside your walls) that you were truly instrumental in making my life very difficult ... I gave you everything, you left me with nothing.

PostPosted: 09 Aug 2007
by john
Mr Green
There's always a way, your way!
Don't give up.

PostPosted: 09 Aug 2007
by Mr Green
I am still alive and ready to kick ass.

Thanks John.

PostPosted: 09 Aug 2007
by jann
I did not even fully join the BKWSU and they ******* up my life completely.

Changing me from a pretty carefree person with peace of mind into a hateful miserable being, and also ever so ready to kick ass, and hard!!!!

loving oneself

PostPosted: 10 Aug 2007
by alladin
No, I would never give "them" the pleasure to spoil my mood! I wasted enough time in my life associating my self to the BK, and I wasn't even that committed in service!! So, now let's try and make the best out of it!! We don't need no more trouble!!
Bob Marley & The Wailers - No More Trouble

(We don't need) No, we don't need
(no more trouble) no more trouble!
(We don't need no more trouble)

(We don't need no more trouble)
Make love and not war!
'Cause we don't need no trouble.
What we need is love (love)
To guide and protect us on. (on)
If you hope good down from above, (love)
Help the weak if you are strong now. (love)

We don't need no trouble;
What we need is love. Oh, no!
We don't need - we don't need - no more trouble!
Lord knows, we don't need no trouble!

Seek happiness! Oh, ...!
Come on, you all and speak of love. Oh, yeah!

We don't need - we don't need no more - we don't need
No more trouble - we don't need no more trouble!
Trouble we don't need (we don't need),
(We don't need) Lord, knows!
We don't need no more war (no more trouble).
No more trouble - we don't need no more - more trouble!

PostPosted: 10 Aug 2007
by in the night
I wonder why so many of us are sometimes under the emotions of letting go of life ... and don't have the courage to touch the subject. I think it´s a common thing that happens to most human beings, but so taboo to speak out ... very courageous Mr Green!! 8).

LIFE IS PRECIOUS

Together we are not Alone

PostPosted: 10 Aug 2007
by seva
Image

Take my hand,
I'll take yours,
Together we won't be afraid.

Take my hand,
I'll take yours,
Together we will have courage.

Take my hand,
I need yours,
Together we are not Alone ...
:-)

PostPosted: 10 Aug 2007
by jann
Hope the BKWSU can learn something from that!!!

PostPosted: 10 Aug 2007
by bansy
mr green.

You hang on in there. You're better than this.

PostPosted: 14 Aug 2007
by Mr Green
I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again.

I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore,

I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days, hope I haven't annoyed you all too much.

Best of luck :wink:

They think that your pride is gone... but oh no!

PostPosted: 14 Aug 2007
by abrahma kumar
mr green wrote:I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again. I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore. I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days. Hope I haven't annoyed you all too much best of luck

Although i have linked to the lyric somewhere else on the site, mr. green's post moved me to mangle the words and post the whole thing in quotes as i see some folk doing ;). Regard, respect and acknowledgement is given to mr. Labi Siffre who inspired but
did not sing:
The higher they build their barriers
The taller you become
The further they take your rights away
The faster you will learn to run
They can deny you
You can decide to turn your face away
No matter 'cause there's

Something inside so strong
We know that you can make it
Though they're doing you wrong, so wrong
They think that your pride is gone ... oh no
There's something inside so strong
Something inside so strong

The more they refuse to hear your voice
The louder we sing along with you
They hide behind walls of Jericho
Their lies will come tumbling down
They try to deny you your place in time
They squander wealth that's never theirs
Your light will shine so brightly it will blind them
Because there's

Something inside so strong
We know that you can make it
Though they've done you wrong, so wrong
They think that your pride is gone... oh no
There's something inside so strong
Something inside so strong

Brothers and Sisters
When they insist we're just not good enough
Well, we know better
Just look 'em in the eyes and say
We're gonna do it anyway
We're gonna do it anyway
We're gonna do it anyway
We're gonna do it ANYWAY!

because there's

Something inside so strong
We all know that you can make it
Though they're doing you wrong, so wrong
They thought that your pride was gone... oh no
There's something inside so strong
Something inside so strong

Take care mr. green

PostPosted: 14 Aug 2007
by joel
mr green wrote:I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again. I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore,

It's up to you, Mr. Green. If you ask me, you bring maturity, perspective, and penetrating insight.
I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days, hope I haven't annoyed you all too much. Best of luck :wink:

Annoyed us?? Your writings challenge and entertain us. You are way better company (and real, thank God) than I found among the BKs. If I lived in your area, I would surely visit you for a beer, a natter, a spliff, etc.

I encourage you to do whatever gives you a smile.

PostPosted: 14 Aug 2007
by alladin
True, what Joel said, and also Mr. Green, you have a very clear way to expound your ideas in writing, which is not a small thing!

Love and talk to you soon.

PostPosted: 15 Aug 2007
by paulkershaw
mr green wrote:I am going to attempt to not come here anymore again. I don't seem to be able to bring anything constructive to the site anymore, I just want to be able to smile a bit for the rest of my days, hope I haven't annoyed you all too much.

Hey You, :mrgreen:, get right back on that keyboard and start typing - My days not the same if I haven't read your posts. Hey, even I've been a little too busy to be here every day but a little visit to your forum pals now and again would lighten up a heart or two no end, so please stay close by if ya can.

Do you need some chocolate as a bribe?

PostPosted: 15 Aug 2007
by Mr Green
You folks are very sweet and a tonic for the upheaval I am experiencing. I have never wanted more to end my life than right now, I hate writing this as I do not want sympathy, I hate it ... but I am scared. I nearly did it last night, I haven't done anything like that for a long time.

I really do need some friends, I am the true billy no mates :lol: I go to the pub on my own I smoke spliff on my own ... after leaving Gyan (could be 4 maybe 5 years now) I have been unable to heal the wounds I gained there and also unable to reintegrate into any social situation ... I simply don't know what to do, it's awful

I am actually considering going to the gp to see if I can get some happy pills, something I've tried very hard not to do ...