You don't want to 'ask' them anything. You need to 'tell' them precisely what you want.What was your impression of her, how did she treat you?
Just tell them to release her back to her own family and not contact your wife. You don't want Ansula to call your wife, you want them to stop contact.
I've seen this happen before and they know if it is regular enough happening. I've seen cases where parents went straight to the Seniors and threatened them with legal action in order to release their son. (
This was a son who had had a breakdown and become similarly obsessive, he came out). I've also know other cases where they have just washed their hands and said there was nothing they could do, it was individual's choice.
In my own case, they advised me to move out of my home and move into independent accommodation temporarily to trick them (my parents), wait until things died down; then I was told I could move into the bhavan (shared house for BKs) later. They tell you such things specifically.
They don't know what is going on ... at best they think it is,
a) because she is a "weak brick" and the pressure of the BK life is too much,
b) it is, according to their theories, "impurities coming out" of her and all she needs to do is "more mediation and surrender to Baba".
c) They even think some people are possessed by evil spirits.
d) They'll just say "it is their karma", shrug their shoulders and walk away.
They might sit at the center in a group and meditate on her but that's all they've got. They say BK Raja Yoga "is like a carpet having the dirt beaten out of it, it does not look so dirty until you start to beat it".
Unless you can make it clear, they'll try and keep her hooked.
I am sorry I cannot answer your 10 points question right now as I am today. I don't know what others think but in my opinion, you have to go on the offensive. Never expect anything from them, they're really not trained at all.
But, please, keep documenting this for others. See if they keep their word or what they do.