I want my spouse not to believe

for ex-BKs to discuss matters related to experiences in BKWSU & after leaving.
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sophiesharma

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I want my spouse not to believe

Post27 Aug 2014

I recently got married with person who is believing in it and all his family members. They just did not tell us that what they are but now I am married and I want my husband to get over it. I am a working modern girl and don't believe in it and I want my husband to do job properly and give time to me as he is not. Please some one help me, how can I change him?
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Pink Panther

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Re: i want my spouse not to believe

Post27 Aug 2014

Poetry, beauty and nature trumps confected logic - so here’s a poem.
Keep your lips closed
and hips open,
be kind and welcoming.
Unless he’s gay
he’ll come
your way.
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ex-l

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Re: i want my spouse not to believe

Post27 Aug 2014

sophiesharma wrote:I recently got married with person who is believing in it and all his family members. They just did not tell us that what they are ...

Dear Sophie,

I am very sorry to hear of your situation. This is terrible news, very unfair, but also very confusing.

On one hand they say they believe in BKism; and yet, on the other, hand they marry their son off to you. Marriage ... and the love, sex, affection, investment of time and energy, even pleasure and happiness ... is the complete opposite of what BK teaches. Strict BKs would never marry for no reason, nor marry off their child which suggests to me they are not complete BKs but perhaps just "weekend" or part-time BKs?

OK, what to do?

Firstly, you need to become more informed and we can provide you with a very clear picture of what BKism is and what it is supposed to be. These people 'playing' at BKs and may be confused themselves. Perhaps the family is dominated by one character, usually the mother/wife, and being influenced by her. Why on earth would the son get married???

Do they want you just to become a servant in their house?

You will need to help us by giving us some more information. Do they get up at 4am for meditation and do they go at 6am to the BK centre every day class? Do they follow strict disciplines over food, e.g. not letting you cook or eating your food? (This is what proper BKs are supposed to do). Have they demanded that you take the 7 Days Course initiation? How long and how deeply are they involved?

Do you and your husband know that BKs are suppose to follow strict celibacy? No sex, no touching, no love, attachment and intimacy with other human beings? They are not even suppose to *think* about other human beings. You, according to strict BKism, are impure and Maya. Those are the facts. Then why have they accepted a marriage?

It sounds like perhaps the son does not want to be a BK and they have allowed him to stray. Can I ask some personal questions, is he weak and dominated by his parents? Do you still live in the parents' home and under their control?

What does he want to do?

Firstly, I would say, that if he and they want to be strict BKs, then you have good grounds for a divorce. I do not know how this might effect your future but we could provide you with support from the teachings of BKs to show how they are anti-marriage.

Secondly, if he in his heart does not want to be a BK, then the next step would be to move away from the parents.

If he does want to be a BK, then there is little hope for the relationship. The pull of BKism is very strong, followers are hypnotised and brainwashed into very narrow beliefs about life in which humanity is doomed to be destroyed, annihilated, killed off by a nuclear war any minute now. If he is brainwashed by them, he won't want children, he won't be able to build a future for you both, he won't have sufficient material interests to build up a security for your old age ... the best you will look forward to is being a sexless, unloved and unpaid servant at a BK center.

Pink Panther's advice is a little cheeky or naughty. I understand he is advising you not to get into discussions or arguments with him but just use your loving to win your husband around.

I don't know ... I would agree that in the first place it is best not to challenge or "attack" them - until you have worked out what is going on inside his and their minds. But if in their minds they do want to be BKs, you should be very upset with them for messing up your life ... and, especially, I would be very angry at the local BK centre-in-charge for manipulating them! Would it make your future very difficult if you were divorced?

There are issues you can gradually warn them about though. I am guessing they are half-BKs, at least middle class and with a little money, who have only joined the BKs recently? Perhaps influenced by Awakening with BK Shivani and all that? Is that about right?

If they have money, the BKs will be all over them even if they don't fully believe and the BKs may not even tell them the full truth of their religion. We can. Perhaps the wife only goes to day class where they are given a 'watered down' version of The Knowledge. We can tell you full truth of what they teach and we can help you challenge them.

For example, the BKs control people using a prediction of the End of the World they call Vinash or Destruction.

We can show you how over their history they have changed this prediction many times to keep followers mentally trapped and controlled by them. New BKs won't know about this because it is hidden from them. We can identify the tricks, strategies, and manipulations they use.

I am sorry to say, you may have a difficult ahead of you and you need to consider it very seriously. I am glad we can help you.

I am glad to hear you that you are a modern girl, and are strong and confident. It sounds like they are a bit confused and trapped by the flattering BKs. Please tell us more.

Save Innocents

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Re: i want my spouse not to believe

Post27 Aug 2014

PP wrote:Keep your lips closed and hips open, be kind and welcoming. Unless he’s gay he’ll come your way.

Well, it's not funny. Not obviously a good solution given that you already know the seriousness of hard core BKs to follow celibacy. It's also not time to put a joke. It's related to someone's life, dear. And this open attitude is not welcomed in BK families, many would prefer big veils & unconditional service.
ex-l wrote:Strict BKs would never marry for no reason, nor marry off their child which suggests to me they are not complete BKs but perhaps just "weekend" or part-time BKs?

Lately, BKs have started permitting their followers to marry anyone they wish, but preference to choose BK as partner is stressed. I think Sophie is not BK. Thanks Sophie for telling this fact. Now I will spread this fact among family member to also inquire about religious & cult beliefs of other families before taking any step further related to marriage matters.
Why on earth would the son get married??? Is he weak and dominated by his parents?

In India, marriage is compulsion & unmarried guy is seen by society as eunuch, most often. So, to protect reputation, everyone tries to marry in 20s or 30s or 40s or even 50s. If the boy is Indian, then obeying parents decision & following it is mot mark of weakness or getting ruled by parents. It's more like gesture of respect towards them.

I think Sophie that your main motive is to see a happy family sharing their experiences & moments with each other, share sorrows alike. To get out of the family is last step. It is always an available option, but go for it only at last when all doors are close. (Given that divorce is worst dream any Indian woman would think of).

First thing is you must do everything to keep family united or the member who tries to fragment the family (in India) is not respected later ever. Understand all beliefs of BKism from this website, don't ask for any detail about BKs from your family or they will try to pull you in that cult. They believe it to be path leading to God & I think you know the craze we Indians have for God in any form or formlessness. Certainly, sooner or later they will try to pull you there in BK certer for taking courses.

ex-l, PP, Mr. Green & everyone else have arranged some crucial data on this site which will help you to good extent in solving problem. Almost everything is realistic & comes with proof here. I have only experience of being BK for just few days, no objective proof. But others can provide good details of all malicious activities in which BK Didis may try to pull you family. From outside, BK pretend that they want nothing from you & want your peaceful life. But there is more to it often kept closed to everyone. Money of followers is what keeping them alive.

Maybe your own family members do not know anything about this site & the serious real cases it discloses. You may get print out of such cases & show them, not now but after you are done with all other methods to bring them back & give them a normal life. You are not in problem but your family members are & i think you can save all of them being a good daughter-in-law. Maintain your composure to fight phantom problem you are going to face in family in case you oppose their BK ritualistic beliefs.

If they (other family members) ever talk to you, lightly, try to ask them their future plans, risk management backup (financial, mental, physical in every other possible way), past experiences in BKism to know how pakka have they become. Make sure they are not going to leave you alone in problematic condition, though you need not to worry if you are working & earning on your own. Save that each paisa for your future, as many cases here suggest that people donate whole of their property to BKWSU when they are above certain age or let their house turned into personal BK center. There is common belief in BKism that larger you donate, purer you become. Offering purity from meditation is just an excuse. If you donate whole property, then you get special Ashirwaad or grace from their self obsessed Seniors.

Let me discose one more case. It is about a person (say xyz, i would not like to disclose his exact identity) who used to work with my Father, both were in different department of same branch of a reputed Government industry but they knew each other, just by name & designation.

After few days of retirement of that xyz person, everyone who worked with him earlier told about his fate. He was a pukka BK, after retirement he got his PF, other funds, etc etc. As per motivation of BK Didis at center, this old guy xyz donated all his savings of whole life, donated part of his properties to same center. And you know who faced most problem? None other than his family members. They were running here & there seeking help to get the money back.

After few days or months (don't remember it exactly as then I was least interested in such issues & did not paid any attention to what my Father told me), xyz also asked for money from same Didis for financing some personal issues.

And do you know what he got back? Baba ji ka thullu !! i.e. nothing.

Pukka BK people do not take any legal action against such incidents generally as they fear the wrath of their BK Baba & also having attachment to Didis, they chose not to hurt them rather leave as their mind is manipulated by all past theories & they see this whole donation act as service, once so called selfless BK service is done, they don't ask for anything in return. Just Baba's blessing are enough. Don't know what is condition of his family & himself but that happen to someone who is over consumed in the BK belief. We don't have his contact number or any id.

So, Save yourself & your family.

Save Innocents

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Re: i want my spouse not to believe

Post27 Aug 2014

Hi sophie one more clearance on how BKs see marriage & life :

These are posts on a BK discussion forum called brahmakumarisforum.net where senior BKs give their expert advice to people of all ages. This is from discussion of post : How does BK affect marriage? do i've to separate from my wife?
Hello wrote:I have just come to the Gyan and I love it , I am married for 10 years and have no children, I love my wife and was planning to have a child before I came to The Knowledge. Now what are my options? My wife is not so much interested in the Murli, but does like Shivani's talks ... Where do I go from here ... Baba says not to have children now as now children are created through sex ( vice), My wife is not ready to accept this ... Where do I go from here ... Leaving her is not an option ... It does not make sense to leave someone who has supported me for so long ...

Response to these queries as given by BK philosopher is :
Baba has said in Murlis for those maatas (mothers) who are in bandhan/bondage the following directions.

1) Be ready to leave your house and work for your own lively-hood. But, never give poison(lust).

2) Tell your husband that- if you need lust, then you may have it from others, you may marry someone, I am ready to be like subordinate in the house.

3) (If the bondage is too high), then lie down with bodiless stage and remember Baba, what else can you do?

4)You may even write to govt demanding that you wish to follow purity (but you should be nashtamoha).

The above Murli points may not be fully applicable in your case, but just shared.
------
Baba says- I am your lover since half a Kalpa, you have been doing my Bhakti for half a Kalpa. I am husband of husbands, lover of lovers. I am your Father, mother, teacher, Guru, everything, etc. [Twameva maataashcha pitaa...] If you feel this as real fact (Baba as real Father and mother of you as well as everyone], then you will get will power and determination to move spiritually.

//// do you notice this sophie how good ancient scriptures quotes are used by BK teachers to divert mind & decisions.

So- if possible- better you first do special Yaad for her, say 10 minutes of Yaad everyday for that soul. And- as per your courage, you will receive help from Baba. Then try to educate her. If she does not agree, and you do not wish to hear bad words from your wife*, then last option is to have child. Go for it. [But- better tell your wife that -at present she is not understanding the truth and you are cooperating her because you have respect for her. ]

But- if we get into sex, Baba says- you will not be permitted to Baba's house for next six months. So- come to centre after six months. [Till there, put spiritual efforts at home yourself]. What else can be done? So- as per your pulse, you may choose the medicine.

* - There are a few cases, where initially there would be a great fight between husband and wife, but later the other partner (non BK) had realized the fruit of purity and then cooperated with full heart or fully convinced. But, the former should have enough command over The Knowledge, faith in Baba and drama and karma philosophy and patience.

    First point tells BK to separate all activities from their families & take full responsibility of all personal activity. So that no one can put a claim of care-share.
    Second point says that if non BK spouse wants lust or sex then he/she must go to brothels or someone else or may have second or third marriage. That sounds dirty but its true.
    Third point tells that if BK spouse has no control over non BK spouse & is forced to have sex, then he/she must do it with highest disinterest (even if it is done for getting a baby) & as part of getting impure & shuddra for 6 months.
    Fourth point says that a BK can opt for legal action against his non BK partner. Probably it hints the divorce.
All these things appear weird & not a solution to stable life but that is how BK Didis teach people to treat their close family members. As truth will unwind, you will even understand what your family members keep on doing all time, what their action means, how they try to be lost in self pride & an individualized world of their own.(given if they are pakka BK)

So, sophie do you see what is going to be your future if your husband turns out to be pukka BK. If he becomes pukka BK, forget that you can have a child as sex is fully opposed in BK system, for those who obey them. Whatever be the reason, a BK follower's ego is nourished by BK Didis at center by telling them that they are so pure & must try to make all their family members, friends, everyone they know just like them. And most importantly its Didis attraction which may win your husband.
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ex-l

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Re: i want my spouse not to believe

Post28 Aug 2014

Save Innocents wrote:Well, it's not funny. Not obviously a good solution given that you already know the seriousness of hard core BKs to follow celibacy. It's also not time to put a joke. It's related to someone's life dear. And this open attitude is not welcomed ...

I have to agree and apologise to Sophie if it offended her. This is a serious matter and we are dealing with not just Indian culture but a very convoluted, hence difficult, situation.
Lately, BKs have started permitting their followers to marry anyone they wish, but preference to choose BK as partner is stressed.

Is this really true in India? I have not read it officially stated. Do they live together or apart?
In India, marriage is compulsion & unmarried guy is seen by society as eunuch, most often. So, to protect reputation, everyone tries to marry ... If the boy is Indian, then obeying parents decision & following it is mot mark of weakness or getting ruled by parents. It's more like gesture of respect towards them.

But the parents are BKs and BKs put the greatest emphasis on brahmacharya and celibacy. The Murlis call sex "the sword of lust" and "poison", marriage temple are called "brothels", mothers who love their children are likened to monkeys.

This is where I am thinking that there is a lot of unresolved confusion and convolution. I cannot see pukka BKs marrying off their children "just for the sake of appearances".

And if they are marrying off their son for the sake of appearances, what consideration are they giving for this woman's feelings and future? Zero. They have been terribly dishonest to her and her family.

Sophie, what have they openly stated? Does the son want to be a BK or escape the BKs (and his parents)? Is there any desire there to be wed? What do they expect of you ... to act as a wife for their son in public only?


I think Sophie's first consideration should be her own happiness ... but this family has put her in a very difficult situation. Normal family experiences are not part of BK life. Unless there is clarity, getting out of the family as quick as possible is the first step.

Sophie, I'll explain why I say that.

I first came in contact with the BKs in the 1980s. Over the decades I have witness *many* families torn apart and interfered with by the controlling old witches in the BK centers. Every family has been damaged by their interference. As far as I know, no family has survived it complete and intact. And, at the end of the day, BKism always comes first for a BK. Insensitivity and a lack of feelings towards other human beings is the norm for them.

In most of these situations, the BK partner always runs to the BK Sisters for advice. Advice they are not qualified professionally, or by experience, to give. They believe that advice is the word of god. The BK center rules the family and, generally, the BKs are dishonest to non-BKs. The best you can hope for in their system is to be made a BK to live as a separate BK.

Normally, the frontline of the BKs always appears very sweet and nice. They use innocent girls or women in this way. But who your enemy really is is further behind the lines ... their senior Sisters or zone-in-charge. They tend to be tougher and tricker. They will have seen many families broken apart by BKism and they will advise BKs in many tricks to fools non-BKs.

Actually, I have had personal experience of them doing just this. They will advise on the law and how to deceive non-BKs who they generally consider to be impure, devilish enemies. Those are the very words their god spirit uses.

I think the opposite to Save Innocents. It's not your responsibility to keep that family united and forget their respect because they have shown you the greatest disrespect and not been honest to you. You are also in a very tricky situation.

They may have damaged you in the greatest way.

But, yes, I agree that they will try to pull you into the cult and to the BK certer for taking courses.

This is where I become even more concerned because they are not proper or pukka BKs.

They are at best half-BKs and their leaning on BK-ism to make them feel better might be a symptom of other problems, e.g. pride, vanity and conceit.

I agree about asking them their future plans, risk management backup (financial, mental, physical in every other possible way), past experiences in BKism etc ... but I would not trust a BK once inch. To them anything, any betrayal is possible because they belief if they remember their Baba as they do it, or if they do it "for" their Baba, then it will have no bad karma. They believe giving to impure non-BKs, is bad karma. The BKs'goal is "service, service, service",

Yes, it is true, the BKs love property and many wives have been "donated" along with property by dyning husband. They end up as servants for the BKs.


There is another aspect to the story of "xyz" who asked for money back from the Didis for financing his personal issues and got nothing which demonstrates the BKs' corruption ... because when the Father of one of the BKs' Didi had money problems, they immediately gave property back to him to use it for finance.

You see, they have two set of rules; one for the leaders and one for the followers. In fact, they have no rules and just make it up to suit themselves as they go along ...

If you have to divorce them, then make sure you take as much money and property off them to make your life secure.

Lastly, according to the Hindu Marriage Act, you have legal rights. One of those is the right to stay together, the other is to void the marriage.
Voidable Marriages

Voidable marriages are those which are void at the option of the aggrieved party. Such marriages can be annulled by a decree of nullity on any of the following grounds :-

That the marriage has not been consummated owing to the impotence of the Respondent.

That the marriage is been performed with a person of unsound mind or having a mental disorder or suffering from recurrent attacks of epilepsy.

That the consent of the Petitioner or its Guardian was obtained by force or by fraud as to the nature of the ceremony or as to any material fact or circumstances concerning the Respondent.

To succeed on this ground, it is necessary that the Petition must be presented in the Court within one year after the force has ceased to operate or the fraud has been discovered. It is also necessary that after the force has ceased or fraud discovered, the Petitioner has not, with consent, lived with the other side.

You may need to take legal advice.
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Pink Panther

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post28 Aug 2014

I was not making a joke. I was serious. You mistake style for substance.

What I said was that you cannot debate logically with an irrational belief system. All you get is defensiveness or stubbornness.

People have to change their own minds, you can’t change it for them.

The power in nature is undeniable - human touch, kindness, love and affection - give a person a very good reason to want to change their own minds.

It could be the husband is gay - why not? Many gays in the BKs - marriage gives a good appearance in traditional societies.

It could be, like it was said, having a wife is having a maid-servant, freeing the man (and his parents) from having to look after him.

I agree that you need to put your long term happiness first. If you are not confident your love and other needs (and possible future desire for children) will be met or reciprocated, you need to take a different path before too much time is wasted and opportunities close. If he does not respond to you, then serious questions should be asked of him regarding the marriage, what he envisages for the future.

Save Innocents

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post28 Aug 2014

ex-l wrote:Is this really true in India? I have not read it officially stated. Do they live together or apart?

There is matrimony site where BK can search their partners. Who knows whether all people there are BK or some even non-BKs. And in sophie problem, it seems she is not BK. Only her husband is.

I don't know whether it has started nationwide but personally if some BK wants to get married or his parents want him to marry, he is not going to listen the Didis as they demand single boys or girls. But, under circumstances, they do give suggestion to marry. And it is good though bad for non BK spouse. Just take a look on the lokik bkforum.net site, you will find thousands posts suggesting marriage for personal usage of BKs & on other hand, loads of suggestion on how one remain unaffected by non BK spouse needs.
call sex "the sword of lust" and "poison"

Then Lekhraj should also have explained why he got involved in all sexual crimes as mentioned in that document & molested innocent girls by hypnotising them. Actually, I think he played dirtier game as pointed by a girl that one day when Lekhraj was bathing with girls & she peeped to know what is scene & later what Lekhraj did that night with all girls was not worth discussing.
marriage temple are called "brothels"

It is deep **** BK Gyan, if that is true. This is terrible & utterly disgusting. I just fear what would be their next birth.
mothers who love their children are likened to monkeys.

Did Lekhraj dropped from sky or had some mother? They are complete mad.
I cannot see pukka BKs marrying off their children "just for the sake of appearances".

They have to do it. When these ethics of manipulating things are present in teachers, do you not think that disciples will also learn same from them? Like guru like chelas, the BK followers try to do everything for creating external influences & projecting themselves as pure & in sync with everyone in their own ways. Deceit & greed are integral part of present BKism. They will smile when you talk to them with a feeling of getting bored in any conversation. That's their attitude.

Agree with rest of suggestion of ex-l but that voiding marriage still appear in bad taste. I think it is the last full n final option. No need to hurry to grab it. And when you decide to leave, it should be done with grace & by inducing guilt for their deeds & injustice done to you. But circumstances change with time. Many leave BKism after few years. So, take your time, know everyone's faith deeply without hopping to some inference.

People live together even after having bigger 'bawaals' in family, so you can definitely find a way to stay & get your share of love & respect there to some extent. If your presence in house appear meaningless or worthless to other BKs, follow your new methods to attract them. Watch out their preferences & priority. What comes first to them, you or BKism? Ask them to go for walk or shopping or some other place, have dinner arranged in some restaurant, check it all indirectly. And you have got much open intellect than any BK can have, discover your own means to pull everyone. [They may see it as Maya, its bad luck. Alright I am not going to give insightful method or if some BK will read it, he will invent even stronger methods.]

Pray god, the one you always prayed, to solve your problems apart from your own efforts. There is always some relief & help for you from Gods.
PP wrote:I was not making a joke. I was serious. You mistake style for substance.

OK, I understand it now. It's just the difference in perception. It would be much easy to understand it now &, yes, that was one potent option.

kmanaveen

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post28 Aug 2014

Sophie,

I am sure by now you know somewhat about your husband, his interests etc. If you see possibilities to lovingly bring him on a normal track, do put your best efforts towards that. Consider him as another and worst victim of BKs than yourself. At least you can see what is wrong, he can not.

However, if that is not the case, why not let your parents inform everything about it and make them talk to your in -laws and husband. If this marriage is for just social reputation, losing this in front of relatives etc when case opens up to all of them can make them bend.
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ex-l

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post28 Aug 2014

Save Innocents wrote:Agree with rest of suggestion of ex-l but that voiding marriage still appear in bad taste. I think it is the last full n final option. No need to hurry to grab it.

Yes and no ...

Yes, I understand you know Indian culture better than I ... however, perhaps we have more experience with BKs.

What that experience says to me is that individuals enculted into BKism do not change quickly or easily.

Even though they think they are all "spiritual", a strong vein of arrogance, vanity and conceit are part of their DNA makeup. BKism becomes such a strong part of their self-importance and self-belief that if you challenge it, they dig their heels in.

Dishonesty and a lack of straightforwardness is also part of it ... so they will say one thing and do the opposite. Their system is highly amoral (without morals or ethics). To marry their son off without disclosing their beliefs is a strong example of this ... and bizarre from a BK point of view. I mean, I am sure not even the BK leaders would encourage their followers to do so. It is so contradictory.

This leads me to think they are not even very enlightened BKs. That they adhere to BKism for what it gives them but do not follow it seriously.

Sophie, if you are still reading this, if there are private aspects you want to discuss offline, there is a small button to send a 'personal message' or email to any member under their name.

To understand your circumstance completely, I would have to ask a question like, "has your husband consummated your marriage?". This is important to help me understand what is going on. Voluntary sex is completely against BKism. If your husband is making love, or having sex, then he is in reality completely outside of BKism. If he is having sex and still pretending to be a BK, then he is lying to himself and the world. Ditto if the family is going along with it.

I stress this because, in my experience, BKs are highly dishonest and manipulative and it may be that you are now surrounded by a family who are really quite messed up ... externally putting on a show but internally doing the opposite and now hurting or damaging you. You might have to start seeing them in this light.

If they have money, there is a chance that they are just being seduced by the BK center-in-charge. The BKs do that. That they are not real BKs yet but are just being sucked in by them. They might be reasonable individuals who have just been misled by the BKs who do not tell their followers the whole truth of their religion ... especially if they have money, land and property to give.

The BKs will flatter such individuals and allow them to hang around for material benefits. The BKs call such individuals, "contact" or "cooperative souls", and use them, but do not consider them to be full BKs. They Knowledge they tell them is watered downed so as not to drive them away. The BKs call this way of manipulating "taking the pulse", it means to feel how far they can go with any one individual and not give them too much Knowledge that would drive them away.
PP wrote:I was not making a joke. I was serious. You mistake style for substance.

Yes, I understand that and I think your comments were fair and accurate. It was just a matter of your style. It all depends on how "modern" Sophie is.

Yes, it is true many gay Indians hide behind fake marriages and fake religious adherences ... but that is impossible for us to know at this point.

Sophie is not there to do "family therapy" but I think this family needs it because they are very confused.

sophiesharma

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post29 Aug 2014

I want to explain my condition totally. I have 3 siblings younger than me. I cannot take divorce or any kind of this action. I am stucked in this situation. Before marriage I wanted a husband who loves me, holds me, takes me away for weekends. But he is not doing so. I think he is not interested in these.

I do not have any memorable moments with him. I only used to cook food and job and house work. That's it. If I plan a trip with him, he used to engage his family in it. Even I had gone on my honeymoon with whole family (including his Father, mother, Brother, Sister in law, and her son) this was very sad and most of the time I was crying ... please tell me what to do now.

Her mother used to explain Murli and all that over the phone from Kanpur to Delhi, and this happens twice daily.

sophiesharma

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post29 Aug 2014

About your questions.

My mother in law is not eating any outside food and onion garlic. She used to wake up at 4 then do Yoga something. And she is the reason for all that process. She wants to make anyone like her, used to do Yoga in evening too. In morning after bath, they study some Murli etc. She, and because of her, everyone used to take bath every time whenever they go to washroom. And my husband was not doing at starting of marriage this much but last month she came Delhi and made my husband according to her. Now he is doing same. He is not forcing me to do same but ordered me to not cook food without take bath and not to use onion, garlic. He uses a towel apart from me, and not using my body wash etc etc .. used to sleep beside me but I know if I will not there he will not have any problem, even we are newly married my husband not making any phone calls during office hours. We finally met at eve daily.
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Pink Panther

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post29 Aug 2014

Sophie - where are your parents and siblings in this equation?

When you say you ”can not take divorce” - is that because you lack financial independence?

Or is there some other bond that negates your individuality? After all, you don’t have children, so what is it?

sophiesharma

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post29 Aug 2014

My question is this, as I was not aware about Baba and brahmakumaris. My family is very well educated and classy. They had to tell us before marriage that what they are. If we were interested we do marriage, otherwise not. We thought that the boy is educated, living in Delhi, engineer etc but here everything opposite. He is not behaving like educated, modern.

As you asked ex-l

Is he weak financially and dominated by his parents and also I do not know his mother doing any jadu etc. He obeys her in her wrong education. But we are not living with family but his mother calls on his number all the day.
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ex-l

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Re: I want my spouse not to believe

Post29 Aug 2014

This is a very serious situation Sophie. I do not want your life to be wasted and destroyed. The family has obviously lied to and misled you and your family. It also strikes me there must be a little division in the family perhaps between the mother and Father, or mother and Father and son, in order for him to become married.

I must ask you one more question. Did they take a dowry from your family? Is this part of the problem?

What does your husband honestly think about the Brahma Kumaris and their Knowledge? Does he really want to become one? It sounds like the first step would be to demand the mother leaves him alone, that he stops taking the telephone calls which will be all about BK and Knowledge.

The Brahma Kumaris are a cult. They are a mind control cult. They are an End of the World, mind control cult after power, money and property. They are not Hindu. In truth, they are anti-Hindu and anti- the modern world which they hope is going to be destroyed by nuclear and civil wars soon.

They attract uneducated, fanatical minds like the mother and they split apart and divide husband and wives and families to control them. Soon, all the extra money, extra time and energy, any property goes to the Brahma Kumaris. Everything is "Baba, Baba, Baba" but really it is all just a front for the senior Sisters to control people's lives so they can live off it.

They are very unethical, as you are finding out, and if challenged can become quite nasty.

Do you think you can start to make your husband think critically ... to analyse and question what is going on?

For example, their god spirit has made *many* false predictions of the End of the World which have failed. WWII, 1950, 1976, 1986, 1986 to 1996 and the leaders have said Year 2000 and 2012. None happened but they use this to keep their followers trapped and giving them their minds, their bodies, and their wealth (man, tan, dhan).

As an engineer, can he really believe that dinosaurs existed 2,500 years ago? Or that the world is only 5,000 years old?

Does he want to grow up and separate from his mother?

Firstly, as your family is modern and well educated I guess they must speak English. If so, I am happy to speak to them to explain what the Brahma Kumaris are really all about and the seriousness of the problem you find yourself in.

It seems to me that the family is like a mini-cult, with the mother acting as the center-on-charge, and you have taken as a "Kumari" or unpaid servant.

This is the same model as the BK centers run, many young girls are surrendered to them and married to their god spirit. Perhaps the mother fantasises about being like a BK center-in-charge? Or perhaps she is just lazy and self-centered and immoral.

Sophie ... I cannot emphasise how difficult a situation you have found yourself in and how urgently you need to think and change things.

If your husband really wants to be a BK, you need to get out somehow. Your parents should take his family to court for fraud and damaging your life.

But what amazes me is that they took a wife for their son because that is 100% against BK knowledge.

Either it means the Father is not 100% for BK, or they just wanted your dowry or something? I am still trying to work it out.

We can also help you from the BK point of view and tell you what the BK Knowledge says about such situations. What the centers-in-charge will be saying. You also have to realise that you are not just fighting the influence of the mother but behind the mother there will be other old BKs and the centers or even zone-in-charge manipulating the situations and giving advice.

The word the BKs use for this is "Shrimat". You could ask, "was it BK/Baba/center-in-charge's Shrimat for the son to get married?" What is going on.

Strictly speaking, what they are doing is against Brahma Kumarism. And your human rights.

Perhaps your parents need to understand more about the BK cult mentality. They may be fooled by the external facade the BKs put on.

There is no easy way to snap your husband out of BKism if he has no will. Have you asked him specifically what he really wants/believes? It sounds like he is just weak to his parents ... why?

I am so sorry to hear about your honeymoon. That was criminal to spoil such a thing.

They did not take you to Mount Abu, did they?

You must stop the mother calling him 100%. That would be the starting point.

If that fails, come to England, the US or Australia and we will find you a nice non-BK boyfriend ... and then the family will scream and want you out of the house immediately!

Thank you for having the courage to come forward and speak to us.
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