Anurag Mittal wrote:Because I know celibacy is very important for spiritual growth
Do you know, or have you been told, in essence, indoctrinated into the idea?
Is it a true statement, or is just because the BKs' current ideas resonate with that prior indoctrination?
is not learning to relate with others, and taking care/responsibility for planning your life, especially later life, "spiritual"?
Be careful, the Brahma Kumaris have encouraged generations of young people to give up married life on the ground that the world is going to end in 2 or 3 years ... and that was back in the 1940s, 1950, 1960s, 1970s and so on. Now they are old and have no independent wealth, no independent property, no family to care for them ... and the Brahma Kumaris aren't interested in doing so. The best result in the equation is that you end up an unpaid servant for them, totally controlled, with no rights.
This is a serious discussion to have. Your parents are right to be concerned about you. They can see further in life than you on the basis of their experience, and they are not just after your money, free labor, and property like the Brahma Kumaris.
Is that "spiritual"?
Is deceiving your parents "spiritual"?
Is living a lie "spiritual"?
I don't think deceiving anyone is "spiritual" but I think it is VERY BK.
When I first read your post, I was deeply concerned. Firstly, from a BK point of view, it's "wrong". You're committing to a defeat from the beginning (from their point of view) and will be seen as a half-person by them. Secondly, I thought you just want to exploit a young women and use her as your housemaid. This has happened and it is disgusting. Thirdly, also from a BK point of view, would you not be placing an obstacle in front of her "spiritual" progress but disallowing her from becoming a full BK ... and is that "spiritual"?
None of it is "spiritual". It's all a mess and I am wondering what your real issues are? Are you perhaps really just homosexual but cannot admit it? Are you not attracted to women? There's no shame in that here. Why do you fear or why are you put off by human intimacy, by natural love and emotion, and growing in that department?
What's wrong with simple love? Did you have bad experiences in your early life? Are their problems in your family? If so they are what you should be looking at and addressing, not running away from them. Are your parents dominating types? Are you not able to be independent on your own?
Please ask, what is the real issue here?
I was also a pukka BK. In truth, I think that a large part of that was just running away from emotional difficulties. It was a facade that I adopted instead of addressing. Yes, life can be easier if you remove love, sex and emotions from it but you also become a bit unhuman, a bit of an unfeeling robot doing so. Many BKs are. It's what they encourage.
I guess in India things are different because of social pressures (marriage is also a business between families), but also because of simple welfare matters. Families are what look after you when you get old and sick ... if you go into the BKs, you won't have that safety net because the BKs will take your money, property and pension. I think your parents are being sensible but that deceiving them, and encouraging a young women to join you in deceiving them, over such a big issue would be bad karma.
Again, I come back to that ... how can a life starting off with such a big deceit, lead to truth?
There have been many couples broken apart by the BKs, it's a difficult relationship as there are more than 2 people in the relation; the husband, the wife, the center-in-charge.
Please just go off and living your own life. Your own life, not the Lekhraj Kirpalani's, not the BKs, not your parents.
In truth, the real answer regardless of whether you become a BK or not is ... what you really need to do is not find a young woman to join you in a life of deceit ... but to grow a pair of balls, and stand up and be your own man.
You may escape a dominating interfering mother by marrying ... but if you do, you'll just end up with a dominating interfering center-in-charge and senior BKs instead.
Ah ... I think I got it ... your mother and Father wants you to have a wife ... so she can look after them when they get old. They want a free house servant, just like the BKs do!Is that it?
Brother save yourself from the complications of it all. Baba says, "marriage is the gateway to hell" and surely he was speaking about fake marriages just to appease parents too. You'll end up in a real mess pulled between the BKs and your non-BK parents, with an unhappy wife.