Intense experiences post-Madhuban encounter
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Dear all,
Having been on the forum nearly a year now, I've decided to finally share something which I've held in the background for four years now. There are several personal and shared topics on the forum linked to the Madhuban experience, who/what was that, nature of Baba, hypnotism vs meditation etc. However, I haven't yet come across anyone describing something quite like what I experienced.
To put things in context, I probably need to give a bit of background (apologies to those of you who've seen some of it before):
Thanks for taking the time and trouble to read this far. I'd be interested to hear from anyone with any insights or similar experiences to offer.
Very best wishes,
Having been on the forum nearly a year now, I've decided to finally share something which I've held in the background for four years now. There are several personal and shared topics on the forum linked to the Madhuban experience, who/what was that, nature of Baba, hypnotism vs meditation etc. However, I haven't yet come across anyone describing something quite like what I experienced.
To put things in context, I probably need to give a bit of background (apologies to those of you who've seen some of it before):
- 1. I was an "irregular" BK for a few years, attending Leicester, Loughborough, GRC, GCH and Reading centres.
2. My compliance with the marayadas was variable, at worst patchy.
3. After significant physical health problems, I'd just had to give up well-paid work which involved 6-7 hours commuting daily.
4. I'd separated from my first wife and was starting to have significant financial worries.
5. I was allowed to visit Madhuban one year after first receiving The Knowledge. Both the head of centre and Sr Jayanti took a calculated risk in allowing me to go and probably wouldn't have allowed it if I hadn't been going with my new other half.
6. This was my first visit to India and first encounter with my Indian lokik family. We visited them in Gujarat before travelling on to Mt Abu.
7. The Baba encounter and Mt Abu experience were very intense and are described elsewhere.
- 1. We travelled from Madhuban via Udaipur to relatives in Delhi and then directly on to Agra.
2. Along the journey I felt like I was "cracking up".
3. By the time we were at a hotel in Agra and then visting the Taj Mahal, I was getting intense visual experiences (up until then I described myself as not very visual) and increasingly paranoid about the lokik family's intentions.
4. With the benefit of hindsight, this was the start of a full-blown nervous breakdown which took some months (if not years) to build back up from.
5. But the most interesting part, which I'd like to share and see if anyone has experienced something similar, is that for several months I had full-colour, video quality images and dreams which I struggled to control/switch off.
6. Again with the benefit of hindsight, I've come to see this as having my Third Eye almost blasted open by the Baba encounter and then being unable to control its opening and closing. This left me being overwhelmed by the cacophony of visual, auditory and other sensory vibrations which India has to offer, leaving my conscious mind no choice but to shrink and withdraw from the encounter.
7. With time the effect faded and, as I recovered, I started to make some sense of it all. One of the BK sayings which had stuck in my mind was that "Baba always gives you as much as you can take when you come to visit him".
Thanks for taking the time and trouble to read this far. I'd be interested to hear from anyone with any insights or similar experiences to offer.
Very best wishes,