Hi,
Some of you may have read a few of my posts to know that I have only just left the BKs. I must admit to struggling and floundering a bit at the moment. My real involvement officially stopped only a few weeks ago and I feel that almost overnight I seem to have lost so much. These people were supposedly my friends, they told me what to think and feel, who to speak to, what to speak about, and gave me 'meaning' in my past, present and future. Suddenly I feel alone and cut off and I must admit that I am slipping into negative thought patterns.
It occurred to me today that I got so much out of meditating in a group, eating together, the sense of community and the open door policy. I cannot go back to my life before the BKs, but I know that it would not be right to return to them either and just pretend that i believe it all. I went to a Buddhist meditation group last night and the atmosphere was relaxed and informal and the talk was on compassion and I did feel "this is more of what I want", but I also found myself feeling slightly worried again when he talked about the fact that if we could not show compassion to everyone, we would suffer in our next birth. Some of the old fears and sense of failure surfaced again for me and I did wonder if I was 'well' enough to join these other groups or whether or not I should just step back and leave spirituality alone for a while.
I just wondered if there are any people on this website who are going through exactly the same 'withdrawal' at the moment. If there are any members from the United Kingdom who would like to get in touch then please let me know. I am from Cornwall but currently living in the North West of England.
Any hints or tips on how others managed to navigate their way out of this difficult phase, or even if you could point me in the direction of some posts that might be useful for me would be much appreciated.
Some of you may have read a few of my posts to know that I have only just left the BKs. I must admit to struggling and floundering a bit at the moment. My real involvement officially stopped only a few weeks ago and I feel that almost overnight I seem to have lost so much. These people were supposedly my friends, they told me what to think and feel, who to speak to, what to speak about, and gave me 'meaning' in my past, present and future. Suddenly I feel alone and cut off and I must admit that I am slipping into negative thought patterns.
It occurred to me today that I got so much out of meditating in a group, eating together, the sense of community and the open door policy. I cannot go back to my life before the BKs, but I know that it would not be right to return to them either and just pretend that i believe it all. I went to a Buddhist meditation group last night and the atmosphere was relaxed and informal and the talk was on compassion and I did feel "this is more of what I want", but I also found myself feeling slightly worried again when he talked about the fact that if we could not show compassion to everyone, we would suffer in our next birth. Some of the old fears and sense of failure surfaced again for me and I did wonder if I was 'well' enough to join these other groups or whether or not I should just step back and leave spirituality alone for a while.
I just wondered if there are any people on this website who are going through exactly the same 'withdrawal' at the moment. If there are any members from the United Kingdom who would like to get in touch then please let me know. I am from Cornwall but currently living in the North West of England.
Any hints or tips on how others managed to navigate their way out of this difficult phase, or even if you could point me in the direction of some posts that might be useful for me would be much appreciated.