Posted: 03 May 2007
paulkershaw wrote:I am a big advocate of love in all its ways. I could suggest that you also repeatedly inform your mother that you love her (in your very sweet way) but at the same time also inform her that her behaviour is unacceptable too. It'll take lots of courage but then she'll also have to absorb the full impact of what you're saying if she hears it often enough.
Dear Sister sweetsajani,
Hello. Thanks for your reply to my posts. I agree with paulkershaw's views quoted above to a great extent. If you want your family to remain united, you would have to respect your mother's feelings also to a certain extent while expressing your feelings in a loving and dignified manner. My experience says that love cannot be extracted from any relationship forcibly. Love has to be won/earned with love and perseverance. True love also requires some level of sacrifice/compromise. While your mother needs to spend more time with you and be conscious of your needs, at the same time you need to allow certain degree of religious and personal freedom (like practicing celibacy).
I understand that you plan to invite your dad and mom to this forum. So, my humble suggestion to you would be to practice some kind of self restraint while divulging your views about your family. You can be the best judge as to how much you should divulge. Being from an Eastern/Indian background, your parents may not like all that you might have written about your mom here. However much an Indian man may fight with/scold his wife at home, but he would never like his wife to be insulted by anyone including his own children.
I am nobody to give you advice, but please think over the above suggestions and ignore them if they don't suit you.
With warm wishes,
On Godly service,
Arjun