Sex, Sexuality and Relationships within the BKWSU or PBKs

This is my background and I am proud of it. No wonder that if an individual or a sect adopts the posture of the Inquisition, anachronistically, by the way,we'll have soooner or later have a big clash over many vital issues . Another tactic of the BKs org, is pushing forward the idea that ours is a Brahmin culture, beyond India or the West. Cool, if it was true, but actually they imposed very conservative systems and rules, that for sure take westerners back and not forward, all meant to bend our will, break the horse. How can we go into the New Age by reversing into Medieval concepts ( including monsters and threatening bestiary), with a cruise into Victorian puritanism, I don't know! BK org lost the compass?

There is still much to think and say about this topic but for now, I want to share in a couple of lines. Something that came to my mind yesterday. No details in the story, I just hope I can convey the feeling.

Long time ago, I met a handsome, healthy looking young Brother when he had just come in Gyan. He was radiating vitality. He was a sports instructor and the BKs suggested that he should find himself another less body-conscious job. He reprogrammed his life for the sake of obedience. Gradually, he became a sort of shadow. Fading away and very stiff in his interactions with women. After some years, he left and got married. I think he had children. He divorced, came back to the BKs, maybe a bit more healthy looking but seemed flipped out. I was very saddened by seeing him in that state. What a pity, he was just a boy, when they took his lymph away!

This was a case of very visible decay but many are similar, or we could say that the majority of Brothers (and Sisters) are put through some kind of damaging treatment in the BKWSU? Castrated pets put weight on, their immune system is hampered, and the only advantages are for their masters (no fights, no running away to chasing girls, no territory marking, no loud mewing). Psychological castration has very similar effects it seems. Just compare, starting from the fattening one.

In some African tribes, i.e. Uganda, they sell young girls to their in-laws after keeping them imprisoned for one year in a special hut overfeeding them. They loose their strenght and health but men like fat cows and wives. Maybe it's also a sign of wealth. BK centers and bhawans often turn into fattening huts where, out of frustration, people become compulsory eaters. Swallow excessive amounts of food, often sugary or fried. It took ages for the Yagya to stop condemning healthy food choices! We all know this. We all know that developing distaste for one's own body is a wrong shortcut to decreasing body-consciousness and avoiding the danger of attracting other's criminal eyes

Reading Jannis and Di's exchange of mails today, thinking about love and the BKs, I realized that labelling the natural instict women have to "Love" and care, as "attachment", this organization strips it off from women very roughly, and without much explanation, on how to transform it or sublimate it.

They often teach selfishness, instead, because of karma "mind your business". What is offered in return is practising bossiness and power hunting, which are typical masculine Kaliyug features. Somebody else somewhere on the Forum, was pointing out how creative, feminine, artistic specialities are not encouraged. They are rather harnessed - as in any totalitaristic system, in a "put out the fire" way. To serve the "party line".

I remembered how cultural programs were censored. So, yes I think the "run by women" organisation, actually de-feminizes women, and without female qualities, I don't think we can build a New Age.

I am starting internally to uprise against all the guilty feelings about sex the BKorg instilled in us. I would have rather appreciated some more detailed explanation about the benefit of celibacy and the real, visible side effects that sex generates (jealousy, dependency, etc.). That would be more persuasive. But to depict it as something dirty, criminal sinful and negative in itself, has the opposite effect. It just generates repression, in a sort of blind faith stage, which consequently contains no conviction or true strenght.

It must be a bit difficult for any body who wants to recover a sexual life, to get rid of that burden of guilt, threats and titles attached to the fatal "fall". It 'd be interesting also to know how many BKs actually adopted celibacy because they were fed up with their partner or had problem with the other gender. That type of motivation, wouldn't make them into heroes of purity. This is what often lokik watchers suggest. BKs= a bunch of frustrated folks. Are they partly right?

Seconded on the rising up front. One of the most personally humiliating things I ever read on the forum was about a BKWSU representative opining that celibacy was optional - as far as the representative knew. Absolute lies. I heard of a married couple in Gyan who ... I will keep that one for later as I need to formulate that story so others can learn.

Basically, the BKWSU don't do sex any day of the week. And do they offer its students access to professional assistance in coping with the side-effects? NO. They count on us volunteering our libidos blindly.

Does the BKWSU offer any non-doctrinal discussion of matters pertaining to: "When a man loves a Woman". And I mean loves her to the point where he recognise that their beings would benefit from that union? Or maybe she loves her man, like Jannisder feels she does. Or Like Di is prepared to move mountains to preserve a relationship she cherishes. do not want to go on too much about it but do you see any BKs posting regularly or positively on those topics i referred to. Wondering why? They do not do relationships very well. Except where you are a yugul couple - and thats another topic.

Another tactic of the BKs org, is pushing forward the idea that ours is a Brahmin culture, beyond India or the West. Cool, if it was true, but actually they imposed very conservative systems and rules, that for sure take westerners back and not forward, all meant to bend our will, break the horse. How can we go into the New Age by reversing into Medieval concepts (including monsters and threatening bestiary), with a cruise into Victorian puritanism, I don't know! BK org lost the compass?

Well said alladin. One BKWSU definition of culture I heard on a Seniors class was that "Culture is the way that we do things around here" . This was developed to highlight that 'here' referred to anywhere we (BKs) were. I took it to mean that culture is ported with me wherever I go. So BK culture is indeed "not for turning" as Lady Maggie famously alluded to about herself in her political hey day. They are about wiping you out and filling you in with a BKWSU culture.

Ak,
Excuse me what's a yugul couple?

How do BK teen agers cope with an imposed prolonged virginity, in Western society where kids age to start having sex is increasingly becoming lower? Do parents have to climb up the wall to find suitable predigested explainations, to promote abstinence,or do they just con what SS say like parrots?

If I recall, teenage days were the most active sexually, due to natural curiosity, new discoveries and hormonal changes. Does the BK University provide any guidance for such age groups, apart from "praising Kumaris"? I get a general impression of superficiality, approximation and a lack of professionalism. However, everything is preached from the high pulpit of the "we know better than anybody else on earth, we are the highest Klan".

What kind of brainwashing did I go through, that made me discard anything psychologist and scientists say, because lokik knowledge is inferior? Relevant to this point and a bit provocative as it may sound: how come magazines and TV programs are full of scientific disquisitions and reports on how sex is a healthy activity that benefits our physical and emotional being? What interest do they have in saying that? Are they sponsored by contraceptive producers, or are they just showing the result of recent studies?

Hi Alladin, my experience is that the term 'yugul' (i think thats how it is spelt) is used to denote that both wife and husband are practising BKs.

I think that such students have come together to form "Yugul" groups in London and elsewhere in the UK. I even heard that they have been having seniors-blessed meetings in Madhuban during the Murli season. May also be such groups elsewhere in the world. If you are more interested i can find out some more stuff, pm me. Can anyone help with more info on the derivation of the term "yugul"? Thanks.

I seem to recall once having it explained to me that each mate refers to the other as 'his/her yugul'. Which begs the question who is the husband and who the wife? Or is it that both regard Baba as the Husband/Wife (just as other students are trained to) so that for all intents and purposes they cease being married to each other in the broadest definition of the word and institution of marriage as we know it in the Western World?

Why do not we create a Yugul topic in the BK part of the forum and see if any such designated BK's come forward to post.

How do BK teen agers cope with an imposed prolonged virginity...?

Often very poorly. In the appendix to E. Romain's report on child abuse among the BKs, he includes a letter from a young man of a BK family who suffered severely as a result of his parents' and BKs' indoctrination regarding sexuality.

Here is the link: http://homepages.nildram.co.uk/~eromain ... ection.htm

Of course, it is not parents or BKs who impose virginity, since they usually cannot supervise the child continuously. I think the key element is the shaming, which is a concern among even adult BKs/ex-BKs. The subconscious self will tend to withhold its creative richness if core sensual/emotional needs are neglected, and activity repressed.

Many many religious traditions encourage this shaming behavior.

Right, shaming is the right word. Great. Remember that book "Healing the shame that binds you"? I read it many years ago as a BK. Maybe now that the lock KKK put on my Intellect is opening, I would find it even more interesting. Have to look for it!

How is it going back to "normal" life and sexual life after leaving Gyan? Do Brothers become impotent and women frigid or any stiff or whatever? It's not that easy to get read of guilt!! Deprogramming ...

Right, shaming is the right word. Great. Remember that book "healing the shame that binds you"? I read it many yrs ago as a BK, maybe now that the lock KKK put on my Intellect is opening, I would find it even more interesting.Have to look for it! How is it going back to "normal" life and sexual life after leaving Gyan? Do Brothers become impotent and women frigid or any stiff or whatever? It's not that easy to get read of guilt!! Deprogramming ...

Yes, I learned about shaming from Bradshaw's book. One the many out of a big box of books sent by a friend on telling her I was into exploring new things.

In answer to your second question, maybe a thread with a poll would be in order. Personally, I did not find it to be a huge adjustment. Once I had gone through my process and made a decision it was easy: I wanted to say 'yes' to myself and to life. I was much assisted by another BK. She proceeded me in leaving the BKs, and we co-counseled each other on the way out.

Is there a certain type of human that is susceptible to these strategies? Or deeper still perhaps, are there certain life expriences which make one more likely to end up in a cult-like situation? Into which part of the 'broken soul' does BKWSU oblox first embed itself? And I extend Broken to include having a negative self-image for wahtever reason expressed in whatever way?

BTW you guts sure help with Amrit Vela. Thanks. And as joel said, i too want to start saying 'yes' to myself and to life. I think it was this realisation that led me to the forum.

Hi Alladin, my experience is that the term 'yugul' (I think thats how it is spelt) is used to denote that both wife and husband are practising BKs ... Can anyone help with more info on the derivation of the term "yugul"? ... I seem to recall once having it explained to me that each mate refers to the other as 'his/her yugul'.

You are absolutely right. 'Yugal' in BK/PBK terminology refers to a practicing BK/PBK 'couple' as well as a 'spouse'. A BK/PBK husband/wife may refer to his/her non-BK/PBK spouse also as a 'yugal'.

Yugals who lead a pure/celibate life have been praised a lot in the Sakar Murlis/Avyakt Vanis.

Regards,
OGS,
Arjun

Criminal drishti... with laughter we can rid of all these ghosts.
I think that he most precious gift a man could give to God is his becoming celibate after having experienced a satisfying, blissful couple relationship. To leave that behind when u are really ready to move on to a higher plan, therefore consciuosly giving up sex, saying "we are ready to tune into your elevated vibe ( with your help). " That will create Vishnu, happiness and enthusiasm, not repression. Free will, not renounciation+surrender the way the BK org conceives them.

I always find it "kinky" when Sister at meals served larger portions to BR on the account that they are BRs, they have bigger appetites, as if it implied something impure., such as stronger sexual appetite.

The BK, unfortunately also the Murli itself (so help me undst, why God should speak like that!?) instil guilty feelings in us. So how can we tap into G's energy if we feel low? In the class on G we teach other religions do that. Here we are on one hand told we are divine angels, but at the slightest mistake, demons, shudras. The whole BKism revolves around carrot and stick method and philosophy. Pretending to empower souls's self respect, but in fact crushing it through the constant comparison with the Lakshmi Narayan ideal. Here again I am playing amateur psyc.!
I recall when the BK teachers sigh and say " Br stopped coming to Murli" and shrugging shoulders and opening their arms, add "well, Drama"= who gives a damn! So for people who do not give a s**t about us any way, why have we wasted so much time?

During my years in Gyan, I met few psychologists and various therapists that, being in contact with the BKs, noticed how our "spiritual family" seemed highly disfunctional, suggesting that members before getting involved and start teaching RajYoga should have undergo a proper treatment. At that time, as I was duped by the Bk-ism, I was defending with all my might the idea that RajYoga being the highest, is the panacea for all illnesses and how dare someone questioning that and why the need of looking any further?

There’s only one shop: Baba's general store. I noticed disfunctionalities in BKs behaviours and personalities but I hadn't quite noticed that my own disfunctionality had brought me to the BK and made me stay. Most of my personality problems and traumas, have just been swept under the carpet adhering to Bkism. I thought that some transformation had occurred and gradually I would become pure and free from all burdens. What really made me take a significant leap fwd, was Al-Anon. Those meetings made me open my eyes about deeply rooted sankars I had, areas that RajYog doesn't cover, and for which no real methods are given.

I was really stimulated by many of the mails around different topics , on the Forum, and want to try and summarize some of them. The picture is becoming clearer, in my mind. Some posters were saying that often officialized and life lasting celibacy is a hideout for people who have sexual problems and frustrations, and how a disability, the moment you come in Gyan, becomes an asset, something to become pride of and start preaching about. If u have problems at relating with the other gender, you can transform that handicap and boast your ego instead convincing yourelf that you are in fact higher than common people, an angel and deity from past and in the future.

If you have problems at loving people, either cannot love or love too much and consequently suffer, just hide behind the holiness of detachment. If you are a failure at your study and work, who cares, that’s only lokik stuff, and anyway destruction is around the corner, this is the real university and real biz, we'll get the true inheritance of Paradise through it. If you are unfit, sloppy or have eating disorders, it’s OK. It’s acceptable being fat, ugly and shabby; this is in line with soul consciousness. If you are depressed, have no interest in socializing, not going out, no interest in entertainment or cultural events; this is accurate according to Shrimat. Stay at home and meditate, a good introverted soul. If you are not generous or caring for others, it's OK; everyone has his own karma and part in Drama.

You can add so many cover ups we used for our weaknesses.More tahn anything, invest all your energy in the BK org, they’ll sooth you!

Epecifically about celibacy, I always looked down, even until recently, I confess, onto people who were in contact with the BKs (through programs, courses and retreats) and roam around hoping to meet a spiritual partner as they usually do in other organizations.

We are not like "Rajneesh, Sai Baba or Hare Krisna! One comes here to learn about purity and the sole relationship worthwhile is the one with God!" But today I was thinking, well what's wrong for people who have spiritual interests in wanting to meet friends with whom they can be on the same wavelength? Vegetarians, idealists unmaterialistics folks? Is it a crime wanting a companion? Is anybody not willing to be single forever, a "Shudra"?

I enjoyed those larks about Mr. Green making a good partner, since he underwent BK training and cohabitation! Sure, BK Brothers learn how to be self-sufficient, cook, clean and iron and can be less burdening for a partner. But apart from the practical aspects, this posts made me reflect about something more. Since my disfunctions had condemned me to the not optional way of living as a single person I, from my position, reinforced by other pukka BKs, always pitied on BKs that pair off and run away together.

Baba calls them the biggest fools. Even pairing off with the best intentions of remaining platonic, doesn't get the SS’s or centre's blessings. Maybe a subtle curse instead. It's envy. Probably I was subconciously envying them and at the same time I was skeptical about the fact that a couple could last. This is a projection of my parents' marriage that was not working and I have a mark left from it. Anyway, some left and even had children.

It was not cool to enquire why they left, and even contacting them just in case things were working out fine for them and they were happy! Better not be tempted of following their example. Some failed and returned with tail between their legs to the BKs. No interaction is encouraged between the EX and BKs. Its very much an "in or out" choice.

I mentioned in another previous post that I was studying the side effects of sex. Further on that churning, I see that if I take for instance "jealousy”, (we could similarily expand on dependency or fear of losing a partner or aggressivity and being prone to arguments, lack of power to accomodate, and all the challenges couples have to face) which is a typical emotion associated with an intimate relationship. Can I be so blind and helpless in front of it that I cannot be in a couple and not fall a victim of it?

So helpless that I prefer not to see where is it rooted in, how to eradicate it, take a closer look and admit that its based on insecurity, lack of self-esteem and fear and that maybe I have to work earnestly on all these things, rather than shutting the door on my subconscious and lock myself up in the refuge of celibacy. Sentenced to being single forever?

Do I want to be an ostrich or Durga, the Shakti that rides the tiger? For the BKs, riding the tiger has the limited meaning of repressing sexual instincts. That's it. You are holy. Not enough for me. And jealousy, attractions, dependencies, still go on more or less hidden in the "pure" BK relationships and interactions. Apologies for such a long post. Its all your fault and your valuable sharing folks if I am thinking a lot these days!