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Paul
Joined: 13 Mar 2004
Posts: 72
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 Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:14 pm Post subject: Jokes |
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Just checking in. They say "laughter is the best medicine", so I thought it would be good to lighten things up with a "Jokes" thread. Gotta walk a fine line though, as admin can be a bit strait laced. Actually, the jokes we tell and they way we react to humour tell us (and others) a lot about ourselves (hey! that's already too deep for this topic!)
OK, lets kick this off with the first tickle:
Skeleton walks in a bar, asks the barman for a cold beer...and a mop  |
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Paul
Joined: 13 Mar 2004
Posts: 72
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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Joke # 2: (This one is anilingual - tongue firmly in cheek  )
International Relations exam question:
If Romania attacked Bulgaria from the rear...would Greece help? |
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Joel
Joined: 09 Nov 2004
Posts: 102
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| Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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International Relations exam question:
What is development assistance?
Taking money from poor people in rich countries to give to rich people in poor countries. |
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Tete
Joined: 26 Jan 2005
Posts: 169
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| Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2006 2:22 pm Post subject: The Spanish Computer |
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This is cute, enjoy!
The Spanish Computer
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in
Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as
either masculine or feminine.
"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."
"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."
A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the
class into two groups, male and female, and asked them
to decide for themselves whether
"computer" should be a masculin! e or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its
recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should
definitely be of the feminine gender ("la
computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal
logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with
other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term
memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find
yourself spending half your paycheck ! on accessories
for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers
should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn
them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for
themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but
half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if
you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten
a better model.
The women won |
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bluewing
Joined: 24 Feb 2006
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 11:59 am Post subject: jokes |
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| tks..Tete...I was 'craving' something funny to keep going...(no offense to our opposite sex..) |
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zhukov
Joined: 10 Apr 2004
Posts: 86
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| Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 8:56 pm Post subject: |
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my favourite russian joke:
Vladimir Putin goes to bed one evening and Stalin appears to him in a dream. Putin asks Stalin for some help with the state of Russian economics, crime, etc...
Stalin says: "Round up and shoot every male aged between 21 & 40 and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
Putin asks: "Why blue?"
Stalin retorts: "I knew you would ask me about the second point first" |
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Tete
Joined: 26 Jan 2005
Posts: 169
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| Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:44 pm Post subject: Le Prisone Motif |
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Zhukov,
This is funny: | Quote: | | “then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue." |
Although what I will tell you is not a joke it very well could be. Picture this: Three business’s hire a Feng Shui designer to choose carpets, paints etc. Oh, and plants too. To get with the RIGHT vibrations and be in harmony as us un Feng Shui folks couldn’t get these color schemes together on our own. We needed a pricey designer to do this job!
Well, it is painting day and we are all busy bees running around when one of the workers seems a bit odd, fidgety and generally looking unhappy. Well, I asked what was wrong? He asks “Who picked these colors?” I quickly informed him it was a very pricey Feng Shui designer, we were lucky to get squeezed in. I said why do you ask? He then said he had seen these colors before…..I asked where? He then said “Please don’t be offended.” I assured him no, I wouldn’t be offended. “I’ve seen these here colors in prison; they are standard in all the prisons.”  Then he pointed to our neighbor’s and said, “That scheme over there is near death row at the famous prison!” 
At that point I started laughing so hard do to the irony of the situation that I couldn’t stand. My husband came by and I could hardly talk do to laughing so hard. I then told him of the situation and he was a bit miffed as was our neighbor. We fixed our problem with a faux finish, added silver, a darker blue and an earth brown. Our neighbors changed theirs too. And our little painter quit at the end of the day as he said the colors brought back too many memories. 
So, go figure we paid a “professional” for Le Prisone Motif! I told my husband look on the bright side at least your colors were in the main prison population and not death row! He didn’t think it was funny. Thinking about it while writing it made me laugh all over again.
Regards,
Tete |
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zhukov
Joined: 10 Apr 2004
Posts: 86
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| Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Tete wrote: | | I told my husband look on the bright side at least your colors were in the main prison population and not death row! |
What a great story Tete!
i'd say that definately deserves honourary-joke status  |
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